Learning Curves: The Haunted Gil Grissom
by StrawberryStetson
Summary: Grissom's heart is carefully hidden in the shadows but when the light of Sara Sidle threatens to reveal his feelings there's only so much science can save you. And Grissom has to learn the right moves. A preship fic of angst, romance, and a haunted heart
1. Ch1: An Alternate Life

**Disclaimer: CSI is the property of CBS and Anthony Zuiker. I merely borrowed the characters.**

**Summary: After another falling out in romance, Sara plots with a DJ and Grissom learns a little something from Catherine.**

**Notes: This is my first ever CSI story. I am a die hard GSR shipper and have destined they WILL be together. This story is all about the relationship and it's developments. My mind is not skilled enough yet to add a murder case with it. So if you want a little murder with your romance, for now you will need to seek elsewhere. Enjoy!**

**Onyx NYC **

Chapter one- An Alternate Life

He came in from the back as he always had, sitting down at the small table in the dark corner. The club was divided into an upstairs and downstairs and he always sat conceled on the top. He was inconspicuous no doubt about that but from here he could see what he came to see every weekend.

Gil Grissom was not a club person. He always found them crowded with people that came to get drunk and irresponsible. The music was always too loud for his liking and he hated watching women disrespect themselves for a cheap thrill. However, two months prior he had found himself in this very same seat, watching the dance floor. She had been there every Friday night since he had started coming in.

Grissom's friend Disco Placid had asked him to come check out his new gig at the club. Disco had always been ready for anything Grissom needed in the music and sound industry, he figured he owed him the visit. He received an exclusive VIP access card to come in the back door. With his new form of descretion, Grissom walked in. The waitress named Marla came right to his table. She was sweet and pretty and just what Disco liked in a woman.

"Hiya, you must be Gil Grissom. I'm Marla. Disco says all your drinks are on the house whenever you come here. What'll ya have?"

She was obviously from New York. Her accent gave her away.

"Well I don't usually drink but I don't want to be insulting so I guess a Scotch on the rocks."

"Hmm spoken like a true James Bond."

"Bond was a Martini man, but just the same I accept the compliment."

He smiled at her and she gave him a warm one back. And with that she was gone.

The music began to play, with Disco doing DJ. The first song was strong on the bass and Grissom found it hard not to tap his feet. That was when he spotted her. The girl that stole his heart for the last 5 years; Sara Sidle. She walked in and sat at the lower bar. He thought she might be with a guy and was getting a look when Marla came back.

"Here you go Grizzly Bear. See you in a few."

He was so interested in Sara that he didn't think to react to the pet name. On closer investigation he noticed that she was alone. His first impulse was to go down and have a drink with her. Then two thoughts, neither of them good, entered his mind. What if she thought he followed her there? Or worse what if she was waiting on a date? He thought it better to remain where he was. If she came upstairs he could easily slip out the back door.

A man soon approached her when a new song started, he could tell by her expression that she didn't know him, but was open to a dance. He watched her walk on the floor as the music played.

_When I'm looking at you, I keep thinkin'__  
__Why can't she be like you__  
__So I'm schemin__  
__I can't go on like this, believin that her love is true__  
__Standing on the dance floor, while she trickin'__  
__You are all I want girl, she's a chicken__  
__We might be together, but love is missin__  
__Girl I want you, So what can we do?_

It was something about the way she moved that mesmorized him. Not just because it was Sara but because there was such passion in her movements. It was the most erotic thing he had ever seen her do, well with the exception of his dreams.

_Girl, if its all right__  
__Let?s go somewhere and get it on tonite__  
__I've got a girl but you look good tonite__  
__It?s one on one tonight, tonite__  
__Girl if it's allright let's go somewhere and get it on tonite__  
__you shouldn't have to be alone tonite__  
__It's one on one tonight, tonite_

The guy was obviously an experienced dancer and moved her like a doll. Sara was just as fluid with her movements. She seemed lost in the music and the dance.

_Now she's lookin' at me, but keep talkin'__  
__Oh, now she's tryin' to ice you, lets start walkin'__  
__Over on the dance floor, it's her fault__  
__But what can she do? Tell me baby_

He found the lyrics ironic, when he felt like the one in the song being the bystander. Grissom would give anything to be the one she was holding onto and moving that way with. He could feel the jealousy rage within him. His eyes were glued to her hips and the way she grinded them to her partner's. A surge of heat creeping up his neck.

_MJ: Girl,If your ready__  
__Girl: I'm ready__  
__MJ: We can get it on__  
__Girl: We can get it on__  
__MJ: I know where I went wrong__  
__Girl: She's where you went wrong__  
__MJ: With you is where I belong_

He finally calmed a little when the song ended. He watched as she hugged the guy and then parted from him. Disco was talking in the background.

"That song was going out to Shelia from Slow-mo. Give it up for my boy Montell Jordan. Now just so ya'll know. Starting next weekend my boy Dj Splinter will be in the house to do kareokee from 7-10 and yours truly will be up to spin after that. Now this one is going out to Gilbert from Shana. Here we go a little Sisqo."

A man walked over to Sara. He was well built, dark hair and a nice smile. She looked as if she had declined because he began to walk away but then she went after him. By the smile on his face, she had changed her mind. Grissom wanted to leave but he couldn't take his eyes from her. The song was slow and Sara fell into his arms perfectly.

_Bright lights, fancy restaurants__  
__Everything in this world that a man could want__  
__I got a bank account bigger than the law should allow__  
__Still I'm lonely now __  
__Pretty faces from the covers of a magazine__  
__From their covers to my covers wanna lay with me__  
__Fame and Fortune still can't find, __  
__Just a grown man running out of time_

His heart sank as he noticed that she closed her eyes and held him tight. Grissom suddnly became very aware of the lyrics.

_Listen,__  
__Your perfume, your sexy lingerie __  
__Girl I remember it just like it was on yesterday__  
__A Thursday you told me you had fallen in love, __  
__I wasnt sure that I was__  
__It's been a Year- Winter, Summer, Spring and Fall __  
__But being without you__  
__just ain?t livin'- anything at all__  
__If I could travel back in time, __  
__I'd relive the days you were mine_

The song was devistating to his memories. He began to relive all the times he had hurt her. The time she had asked him to dinner and he delivered his "no" like she was poisoness. Then the time she was suspended and he pushed her into reliving her childhood and crying.

_And even though it seems i have everything __  
__i dont wanna be a lonely fool__  
__all of the women all the expensive cars. __  
__all the money don't amount to you.__  
__i can make believe i have everything. __  
__but i can't pretend that i dont see __  
__that without you girl my life is incomplete_

He couldn't take it anymore. He got up without looking back and walked to the Tahoe. It had been a long night.


	2. Ch2: The Burning of Shana

Chapter 2: The Burning of Shana

The following weekend, he couldn't help his curiosity. When Greg asked her in the hall on Thursday night what she was doing on the weekend, she replied that she would be home reading and relaxing. Grissom went to the club. Just as before he arrived first and she followed later. The night was full of excitement and the dances were fast. He sat through endless numbers of bad kareokee. He was beside himself when "Shana" was called and she went to get the mic.

Shana? So she wanted to remain anonymous. He had never known her to sing before. This would be interesting.

"I'd like to dedicate this song to someone that lives in the shadows. A man that seems to know everything but in reality he just doesn't see."

His eyes grew wide with surprise. Was she talking about him? Did she know he was there? What if it wasn't about him? Was there another? Grissom leaned forward in his seat. His newly sharper hearing dead set on what she was singing.

_"I have a smile__  
__stretched from ear to ear__  
__to see you walking down the road___

_we meet at the lights__  
__I stare for a while__  
__the world around disappears"_

Was he really hearing this? Her voice was perfect! He sat up straight in his chair. His eyes locked on her. When Marla came by she saw the look on his face, turned and moved on.

_"just you and me__  
__on this island of hope__  
__a breath between us could be miles___

_let me surround you__  
__my sea to your shore__  
__let me be the calm you seek___

_oh and every time I'm close to you__  
__there's too much I can't say__  
__and you just walk away___

_and I forgot__  
__to tell you__  
__I love you__  
__and the night's__  
__too long and cold here__  
__without you __  
__I grieve in my condition__  
__for I cannot find the words to say I need you so._

He whispered to her hoping somehow she would hear him. " I need you too Sara."

_"oh and every time I'm close to you__  
__there's too much I can't say__  
__and you just walk away___

_and I forgot__  
__to tell you__  
__I love you__  
__and the night's__  
__too long__  
__and cold here__  
__without you._  
_I grieve in my condition__  
__for I cannot find the strength to say I need you so."_

She handed back the mic and took her seat. The cheers from the crowd were deafening. Grissom's heart ached. He could feel himself trembling but his skin was on fire.


	3. Ch3: Intoxicating Revelations

Chapter 3- Intoxicating Revelations

So this is how it happened. He had come to the club every Friday for two months. What surprised him most was the fact that she never sang after her first song. She was very alive on the dance floor however.

At work nothing seemed any different. "Shana" was not a part of Sara. Grissom found ways to ask her questions about it but she never hinted around her weekends. He didn't pry because he didn't want her to know that he was there.

That Saturday night was her birthday. She wasn't at the club that Friday night and he worried she was out with someone. He became bold and decided to call her. She answered on the third ring.

"Sidle"

"Hey Sara, it's Grissom."

"Hey! Everything ok?"

"Yeah fine, actually I called more on a personal note."

"Oh yeah? You feeling lonely, want some company?"

He caught himself from saying yes. She giggled into the phone.

"Come on Grissy you know you hate that big old empty townhouse. I can AHHHHHH!!!!!"

"Sara?! Sara???"

Grissom dropped the phone and ran to his Tahoe not even locking his door. He was at Sara's apartment in 6 minutes flat. He rushed to the door banging loudly.

"Sara! Sara!"

Nothing.

He tried the door and found it open. Nothing inside looked out of order. He noted an open bottle of scotch on the counter. Searching in the kitchen and the living room not to find her, he slowly moved to her bedroom. She wasn't there. His mind started conjuring up extremities. He thought of her being kidnapped or worse, in the morgue.

He opened the door to the bathroom to find her leaning her head against the wall. Her earphones were on her head.

"Sara?"

He didn't realize how loud he was. Her eyes opened and she leapt up without thinking. He sensed danger coming and he was correct. Sara stood so quickly she slipped out of the bathtub. He was fast though and caught her soapy body before she landed.

She giggled hysterically.

"Wow good catch Doc!"

It didn't take a forensic expert to see that she was three sheets to the wind. He quickly grabbed a towel and wrapped her in it. Then he lifted her up and carried her to the couch.

"Sara, how much Scotch have you had?"

"Um just a few, a couple, um three, maybe four. I feel funny but I'm still sexy!"

More under his breath "Yes indeed you are Ms. Sidle."

Before he could move, she reached up and pressed her lips firmly to his. Had the taste of alcohol not been so strong, he would have returned the kiss but he knew that she was out of her senses.

"Sara, now behave. We need to get you some coffee."

"Not coffee, scotch. Need more and kisses, need those too."

"No Sara, now lay there I will make the coffee."

"Why are you always the boss? I wanna be the boss so I can tell you that you are- and you are just bossy all the time. Hey where's my scotch?"

Grissom's eyes went wide but he left her on the couch. She was acting like a 5 year old.

"I don't believe you are in any condition to be the boss tonight, dear."

"I'm fine! I'm just swimmy." More giggles

He made the coffee as quick as he could. He added so much coffee to the pot that he outdid Starbucks' triple shot espresso.

"Here drink this."

She did as she was told. He followed it with aspirin and made sure she swallowed it.

When a good 20 minutes had passed, he decided it was time to get some answers.

"Sara, why were you drinking tonight?"

"It's my birthday, I'm having fun."

"No you are way too intoxicated for that."

"Grizzem, why don't you love me?"

The question shocked him. He wasn't comfortable with that subject when she was sober, nevermind like this.

"Sara you need more coffee."

"No I dun't. I love you why do you never love me?"

With that she leaned over and laid down with her head in his lap. He pulled the indian blanket she kept on the couch, over her. His heart was soaring. She had said she loved him. And now she was laying in his lap. He felt a sting coming from his eyes. With a thrust, Sara threw up all over his lap.

Well this was perfect. He sat her upright, luckily the blanket got more of it than anything. Grissom hauled her back to the tub, the water still there from before. He turned the warm water on her and used the shower head to wash her off. It took the every piece of strength and willpower he had not to look at the nude goddess before him. Sara slowly took his hand and laid it on her breast. Her fingers molding his over her flesh. Grissom tried to pull back but found her grasp was tight.

"Touch me Grissom, don't be afraid. I w-want you to."

His heart pounded in his ears, the feeling completely overwhelming. Finally she let go, as did he. It didn't stop his heart from racing however. He made her promise to sit still, then he went to the closet to get a fresh towel. When he came back he found her sitting with her knees pulled firmly up against her, her head down. Leaving the towel on the sink, he moved to clean up the couch. The couch had sustained no mess only the blanket and his pants. Moving to the closet, he took a large blue and green beach towel from the closet. Carefully, he removed his soiled pants and wrapped the large towel around his waist.

After he had put his pants and blanket in the washer, he went to retrieve Sara. He was shocked and angry to find her with a bottle of bourbon and a nearly empty glass.

"Sara, give me that. You've had plenty. It already made you sick."

Sara caught sight of him in the towel and her giggles started all over again, followed by nasty hiccups. He took the bottle and glass away and poured it down the sink. That made her beyond angry.

"Damnit, thas mine! Go away! I can drink, you can tell me whatta do Grissdom."

At her flair up, his anger gave way. He nearly yanked her arm off pulling her from the tub. He wrapped her in the towel and took her back to the couch, nearly dropping her on it. When she finally looked at him, he was fuming.

"You have something to say, _Boss_?"

The last part was nearly hissed in her alcohol-induced state.

"You bet I do Sara. What the hell is the matter with you? Can't you just sort things out? Why do you have to bury yourself in a cheap bottle of liquor? And why is it I always have to come to your rescue?"

"My rescue? Ha!"

She kind of laughed but didn't seem like she could tell he was mad.

"Yes, you mouth off at Ecklie and Catherine I have to save your job, you threaten to quit when things don't go your way and I cave. Your emotions run high on a case and it's always me that has to bail you out Sara!"

"Damn you! You think you are so purrfict! All about you and your stupid bugs, you don't care about anyone! I chase you, and you, well you don't care. What did i do to deserve you to hate me?"

And with that she pulled herself into a ball on the couch. Grissom's anger was gone in an instant. He never approved of anyone being drunk, but it was always the ultimate truth syrum. She thought he hated her. It was a stunning wakeup call.

"Sara, how could you think I would ever hate you? I love your smile and the way you are so passionate about everything. I love the silly gap in your teeth and the little curls in your hair. I even love when you challenge what I say. Why can't you see things? Why can't you see the way I feel about you? I don't know how to say it. But I swear, I feel you more than you know."

He suddenly realized that she was sleeping. He was overcome with relief that she hadn't heard him. Then a wave of horrible disappointment filled him. He had just opened himself up to her and she hadn't heard any of it. Grissom slowly got to his feet. He picked her up and carried her to her bedroom. Slowly he set her down and covered her.

"Grissom, don't go. Stay right here, please. I don't want to cry anymore. I don't want to be sad."

"Ok Sara, I will sleep on the couch."

"No, here with me. I cold."

He couldn't say no. He removed his jacket and his shoes and socks. Then he laid down next to her. She rolled over to him. Her eyes seemed clearer. Leaning up to him she stroked his beard and pulled him down to kiss her. This time he made no move to resist her. He kissed her tenderly but something in her touch drove passion between them. He kissed her like a man drowning. It was Sara that at last pulled away.

"I love you Grissom, and someday I hope you can find a way to say it."

She smiled at him, then rolled over, her back firmly against him. He wrapped the blanket around them and fell asleep. His last thought was of happiness, she _had_ heard him.


	4. Ch4: A Lucid Fog

Chapter 4- Lucid Fog

Sara awoke the next morning, a faint headache piercing her brow. She got up and went to the bathroom her kidneys ready to explode. As she stepped back into her room; something triggered panic in her mind.

_Grissom!_

Had she been dreaming it? Was he here last night? She tried to remember what had happened but the last thing she could recall was opening the bottle of scotch.

Her first thought was to call him but as she reached for the phone she thought better of it. What if it was a dream? She could hear her first line to him.

_"Hi Grissom, yeah I was drunk and I was wondering if you were in my bed last night?"_

No, that wouldn't go over real well. Especially since she wasn't drinking anymore. But last night was different. Her mother had called her after 5 years and said she missed her. Sara was angry and sad all at the same time. She wanted to talk to Grissom but didn't want to cry in front of him again. So her last retreat was in an old bottle of scotch she had kept in the cabinet over her fridge.

She finally decided to get online and check her email. She wouldn't see Grissom till tonight so there was no point in stewing over it. She loaded her laptop and signed in. Deciding that coffee was a great idea, she headed towards the kitchen. A few minutes later her message chime went off indicating she had an instant message. Sara rushed to it thinking it was Grissom.

She was disappointed to find that it was only a friend she had met online and decided to ignore him. Closing the window she glanced at her buddy list hoping to see him on. He wasn't. Sara retreated to the kitchen and finished making her coffee. She noted that the coffee can was nearly empty. It was odd; she had only bought it the week before. Shrugging her shoulders she put the can back in the cupboard.

Her email was uneventful. There were a few jokes sent to her by Greg. A response to a letter she had written a cousin, and the rest was SPAM. Her alert box finally popped up to reveal "BugmanGG" had signed on. Sara's heart skipped a beat at seeing the name. It always amazed her how knowing exactly what he was doing at that moment was thrilling to her. She decided not to say anything and let him be first.

Grissom was thrilled to see the familiar "LadyFriscoSS" online. The scent of her still lingered on his shirt. He didn't know what to say. He wanted to apologize for leaving her alone. Brass had called and had needed a bug analysis asap. While leaving her was hell to his heart, he couldn't let Brass down. Gently he had unwrapped her from him, taken his still wet pants from the washer, and left quietly.

So there he was sitting and waiting for a sign that she wasn't mad at him. He began to pace.

Sara began to pace. Why hadn't he said anything? Had she been indecent with him? She checked her phone to see if there was any incoming or outgoing calls. To her horror she found his number was the last one at 10:18pm as an incoming. What did she say? She couldn't remember anything. Well only one way to find out.

Grissom's heart leapt as her message box popped up.

LadyFriscoSS: Hey Gris U there?

BugmanGG: Hi Sara, yeah I was just checking mail, you?

LadyFriscoSS: Same

BugmanGG: Sleep well?

_Well that was suggestive but reserved, Sara thought._

LadyFriscoSS: Yes, I have a bit of a headache though

LadyFriscoSS: Can I ask you something?

BugmanGG: That's a loaded question, but go ahead

_Grissom sat nervously awaiting._

LadyFriscoSS: When I called you last night, did I say anything weird? I don't remember much. Was really groggy.

BugmanGG: Groggy?

_She didn't remember him being there evidently._

LadyFriscoSS: Yeah, like anything out of character for me?

BugmanGG: Other then the fact that you were drunk; you asked if I was lonely.

_The look of horror hit Sara's face._

LadyFriscoSS: What? Um yikes. Please tell me that you disregarded that.

BugmanGG: Sara there is a lot for us to talk about, about last night, but I have to go. See you at work. Bye.

With that he quickly closed the connection and shut down the computer. He needed time to regroup.

Sara sat in shock at his quick departure. She was worried now. It was as if he were angry at her. She hated computer messages at times; they were so impersonal. Feeling very empty Sara decided to hit the gym.


	5. Ch5: Seeking a Friendly Shoulder

Chapter 5: Seeking a Friendly Shoulder

Grissom replayed the conversation over and over in his mind. He thought that last night was special, but it was only to him. Damn alcohol! He was still pacing. He needed someone to talk to, but who? Brass? no he was worrying a lot about his daughter these days. Nick? no he had a thing for Sara a while back. Catherine? That's it! He dialed her number then quickly hung up. What was he doing? He never discussed Sara with anyone! Ah hell! This was different. He dialed again.

"Willows"

"Catherine it's Grissom."

"Hey there, to what do I owe the honor?"

"Are you alone?"

"My my my, I knew you liked my tush but I didn't know you wanted the rest."

"Yeah well it's been a while. I might have forgotten how."

"Oh the teacher becomes the student? All right yes I am alone. Lindsey is at my sisters for the week. What's up?"

"Can you come over? I need to talk."

"Sure be there in 10 minutes."

15 minutes later, Catherine pulled into Grissom's driveway. Without getting out she could see him pacing. Whatever it was, the man was very conflicted. She walked to the window and gently tapped on the glass. Startled, Grissom quickly opened the door.

"Ok I'm here, you got any coffee?"

"Yeah, sure."

The next few moments passed in silence until he started the pot brewing. When he looked up, Catherine could see the pain and desperation in his eyes.

"Gil, what is it?"

"I need you to listen to me and help me. But I have to ask, no, more like beg you, not to tell anyone Catherine. Please promise."

"Gil you have enough dirt on me to uncover half the corpses in Reno. I promise you I am in no position to say anything to anyone. Yes of course I promise."

"Ok here goes."

With that Grissom proceeded to tell her all the details of his night with Sara. Stopping occasionally to recheck his facts. While pouring the coffee he finished telling her about their online conversation. Catherine didn't say anything until he was completely finished.

"All I can say is, it's about damn time!"

"Excuse me?"

"Gil, you have been a wreck since the day Sara Sidle came to Vegas. I have watched the two of you dance around your feelings for 5 years now. It's about time that one of you did something. Incoherent or not."

"I thought you were ready to ship her back to California?"

"You know that isn't true or we wouldn't be having this talk now. Sara is a fighter, and yes there were times I could have drank her blood. Especially when she told me off in the lab a month ago. But she's a lot like me Gil. She's tough but she's not unreachable."

"So now what do I do?"

"Well she played true confessions with you last night. It's obvious she hurts over you more than you realize."

"Catherine, I have hurt her so many times. How can she love me?"

"Ok elaborate on the other times. I am going to need evidence to solve this case."

Grissom set to work telling her about the rejection on dinner. Recommending Nick for the job she wanted. Shutting down her emotions when he couldn't bare to see her hurt.

"Ok let's examine what we have. She asked you to dinner and you turned her down flat."

"Yes, but I didn't mean to. Well in a way I did. She caught me off guard and I just reacted too quickly. I was afraid that if I went to dinner with her, she might want a lot more."

"You mean you might want a lot more?"

"Yeah. All I have to do is make one little move and it's over for me."

"Gil, listen. Last night you made that one little move. The bonus here is, she doesn't remember. You have the power to take it further. Now let's examine the next part. You recommended Nick for the key position. In my opinion he is better qualified. Do you agree?"

"Well Nick is a great CSI, but there is no doubt that Sara equals his talents."

"True, but she also has a history of letting her emotions run high. Look at the way she blew up at me and Ecklie. Not like the little creep doesn't deserve it, but I digress. Or the time she almost hit that guy who killed his wife? No you did right by recommending Nick. Not that it matters, the position was washed out anyway. Now let's talk about the last. Shutting down her emotions when she needed you to be open."

He nodded and replied. "Too many times. I remember that case where the black woman was raped and shot by that punk kid. Sara became emotionally involved because she didn't die. Later I told her to let it go. She told me I was unfeeling. But it killed me to see her crying over something that couldn't be fixed. Hell I rode The Desperado coaster outside of Vegas eleven times that night. I couldn't get her tear-stained face out of my head!"

"You're a supervisor. The fact that you can deal with any of us on a professional level and still be our friend is an art form. I mean Warrick would be out cold for his gambling addiction. But he is the first one to tell people that you saved his life. Greg has had so many girl issues, I am amazed he can stay with it. And me, well look at how bad I am; Sam Braun and the paternity test, not to mention the money. Defending my ex-husband at risk to the lab. Blowing up the lab. The list goes on."

"Catherine, we're all human. Those issues were hard at the time but your experience and dedication were far more valuable. But with Sara I turned a cold shoulder to her feelings because I was afraid of getting pulled in."

"Do you love her Grissom?"

He shouldn't have found that question so astonishing but it was. His heart reeled with the thought of loving her. He knew all his cards were on the table and Catherine had all his power.

"Yes I love her. I have never loved anyone else in my entire life. My day begins with her on my mind and ends that way. Sometimes I almost wish she would go back to Frisco so I can get back to the life I had."

"The life you had? Grissom, your life was even more sheltered than it is now. You spent more time talking about her when she wasn't here. So much that I knew exactly who she was when I first saw her. Go back to that? No, you have to face this. Face _her _Grissom."

Her cell phone rang.

"Willows. Oh I completely forgot. I will be there in 15 minutes. Thank you."

He looked at her like she was taking his air away.

"Sorry Gil, I'm having a new waterbed delivered today and the guys are waiting for me. Look this isn't over. How about after shift tonight, you come by and I will make you breakfast?"

"Sounds like a date. Hey, don't break in the waterbed too soon."

He winked. She smiled.

With that she sprinted to her car and took off. Grissom needed to sleep.


	6. Ch6: Evils of the Flesh

Chapter 6: Evils of the Flesh

After a shower, Sara felt a bit better. Her apprehension turned to anger when she was running. When she got home, she began to feel the pains of overdoing it. She quickly checked her messages and decided to hit the shower. It was time for a nap, She had really done too much. Aside from all that, her mind would be Grissom-free for a few hours. Sara threw on a long red t-shirt and slipped into bed. Her mind began to dream...

In his bed, Grissom began to dream also...

Grissom was on the dance floor. A beautiful blonde in his arms. He moved expertly to an unknown song. He couldn't make out the face of the woman but he could hear her laughing. Suddenly he spotted Sara only a couple feet from him. She was dancing passionately with a man he couldn't see. Grissom tried to get her attention but she remained transfixed on her partner. As they turned, he realized the man was Hank. Sara pulled him down to her and kissed him hard on the mouth. Her hands roaming his back.

Grissom tried to move closer to her, but the blonde pulled him back. Then she whispered in his ear.

"By the time you figure it out, it might already be too late. Sidle dies and the great Gil Grissom will not save her as I rip the skin from her bones!"

It was now a man's voice. Grissom saw into his eyes, black as death but eerily familiar. Sara's tortured scream made him rise up from his bed. His pillow was damp and warm but his skin was ice. Where was she? Who's eyes had he seen? Grissom sat on the edge of the bed; the shaking wouldn't reside till much later.

"What have I done to you Sara? What have I done?"

The words led Sara into her dream. A grey puppy with black spots ran from Sara, he seemed to be in a hurry. Curiously she followed the amimal down to the river. Suddenly she saw Grissom, his body lying faceup on the ground. Maggots were crawling happily through his eye sockets. She thought she might throwup but somehow she knew she could save him. Sara began to try to revive him but a booming voice stopped her efforts.

"It's too late Sara, he has no heart. Now he will die because you have taken it from him!"

Suddenly a loud beating heart appeared in her hands. Catherine's face appeared out of the blood, she was laughing at Sara. As Sara dropped the beating heart, Dr, Lurie appeared behind her. He sliced her throat, as she lay dying, Lurie and a very alive Grissom stood over her. Grissom was smiling and shaking hands with the murderous doctor. She tried to scream but choked on her own blood. Grissom took the knife and carved the skull into her breast.

With an evil laugh Grissom said, "By the strokes of my knife, you belong to me Shana!"

Sara woke up so suddenly she didn't realize how close to the headboard she was. Smacking her head she began to wince in pain. What the hell was the matter with her?

"What happened between us Grissom? What are you hiding?"

Sara could still feel the burning on her chest; a deadly reminder of a permanent figure. She looked at the clock and realized she had 45 minutes to be to work.

"Damn!"


	7. Ch7: Chasing Passion

Chapter 7: Chasing Passion

By the time Sara walked into the lab, Grissom had drank enough coffee to put Starbucks out of business. He was nervous and the coffee only intensified that feeling. He saw her coming down the hall and quickly walked to the door.

"Hey Sara."

"Hey Gris"

"I think we better go save Greg. He's been playing Warrick on Madden's new NFL game."

"Warrick? Isn't it his day off?"

"It was until Greg bought the game and called Warrick to gloat."

When they walked in Warrick had Greg pinned to the couch. An obvious touchdown was in the making.

"He's at the the 20 the 10, the 5...Score!! Take a lesson Sanders at whatever cost I always win. Watch the replay! It's all sweetness baby!"

Greg got off the couch, a look of sore loser on his face.

"Nice to see you boys having so much fun, but we have work to do."

"Peace out ya'll. I need to catch me some grub." Warrick said.

"Yeah you'll be back. You forget I have the secret weapon."

"Please boy. The only weapon you got is that mad hairdo of yours. See ya."'

"Ok now that we are together. Sara you're on a robbery at Malcolm's Discount Store. Robber described as a cross-dresser with a bad weave. Greg you and I are going to the Tangiers to investigate the murder of identical twins."

"Wait a minute Grissom. Don't you think Greg should work the robber case? He needs more easy field work."

"I want him on this case. He needs some more field work on the strip."

She opened her mouth to object. But the look she received made her decide not to.

"Greg, can you get the red goggles from my office and wait for me in the Tahoe. I'll be right there."

"Right."

Making sure he was gone. Grissom sat on the corner of the desk. Sara sat down in the chair within inches of him. She was ready for another one of his talks.

"I know you want answers from the other night. Frankly, I'm still working things out. But we're at work and what I say goes and is for a reason."

"I just want to know why you're angry with me. I can't fix what I know nothing about."

"I'm not mad at you, Sara. But there is more to this story than what you think happened. I'm working on that. You forget I am a man of science. I have to verify all my facts before presenting the case. Do what you do and I will do what I do. Somewhere we'll meet in the middle."

He rose from the desk, and just as he was on the side of her, he reached down and stroked her cheek. Then walked out not looking back.

Sara felt like the shift was never going to end. The scene at the discount store was a mess. The cross dresser turned out to be the manager's ex-lover who was bitter over the recent break-up. Sara broke up a fight between the clerk and the crossdresser's sister. Brass rolled his eyes as he handcuffed the sister. Sara finished the case and quickly began packing up her kit. She looked at her watch; it was only 3am. Having completed her job she headed back to the lab.

She wasn't looking forward to the mounds of paperwork she had to do. Sitting at her desk, her mind began to wander. As it often did when she was alone, she began to wonder what Grissom was doing at that very moment. The lab was dark and her office was secluded. Sara began to imagine Grissom coming in and the two of them all alone. She closed her eyes and felt his fingers on her stomach. A menacing look in his eyes. He leaned down and kissed her throat, moving up to her mouth. Suddenly her cell rang.

"Uh uh Sara Gris uh Sidle."

"Sara, are you all right?"

It was Disco Placid.

"Yeah hey Disco what's up?"

"Didn't see you at the club this weekend. Thought we would get to hear that voice of yours again."

"Yeah I um was busy. But I will be there next weekend."

"Jive, alright baby girl I'll see ya there."

"See ya."

It was well after 5am when Greg and Grissom finished at the Tangiers. All the evidence was collected and it was going through the lab. Grissom went by the lab to drop DNA evidence off to Hodges. He left Greg in the parking lot to go home.

As Grissom entered his office, he found Sara asleep on the couch. She looked so peaceful; he didn't want to wake her. Quietly he sat down at his desk to work on entering prints into the database. It was almost impossible for him to keep his eyes off of her. He suddenly realized his office was very dark. The few lights radiated from a small fish tank, and the open door.

He wanted to touch her, wanted to crawl on the couch next to her and hold her. He couldn't keep his eyes from her, as she stirred in her sleep.

"Grissom."

The whisper of his name, sent chills down his spine. He tried to hide his smile. She was dreaming about him.

He saw Ecklie walk by his office, and he panicked. But Ecklie was engaged in a conversation on his cell, and didn't notice the open office door. Grissom decided it was better to wake Sara up. No matter what the circumstance, a sleeping woman on his couch in the dark would not look good. He moved over to the couch to kneel before her. But first decided to close the door. He didn't want to chance seeing Ecklie again.

"Sara, wake up. Come on honey, nap time is over." He whispered.

She stirred and finally opened her eyes.

"Grissom? Where am I? Oh."

She bit her lip as she talked and a small trickle of blood pooled there.

Grissom couldn't stop himself. He took his thumb and wiped the blood from her lip. She took it as an erotic moment. At the same moment he saw the look in her eyes. Pure hunger. He pushed her head down on the couch and firmly brought his lips to hers.

The passion between them fused together, uncontrollably. She brought her hands up to the buttons of his shirt. His hands caressed the soft skin of her stomach. Their kisses intensified, his mouth moving to the skin of her collarbone. Sara had the smooth skin of his chest exposed. He pulled back to look in her eyes. The passionate look drove him wild. Sara pulled him on top of her, the heat growing between them. The taste of her mouth was driving him crazy. She loved the weight of him on top of her. He touched the wet heat of her thighs and Grissom knew she wanted him.

"Oh Grissom." She moaned through his mouth on her stomach.

The sound of his name in that whispered tone brought him back to his senses. He laid his head on her chest for a moment. His breathing was still shallow. Then he stood up and helped her to her feet.

"We can't do this Sara."

"What? Why? What are you afraid of?"

"This isn't the place, not like this. I can't-"

"You know Grissom, you need to work on your emotions. I mean what the hell am I supposed to think? You're all over the board with the way you feel about me!"

He grabbed her fiercely pulling her to him. Had she not been so angry, she would have melted at his power.

"After the other night, my emotions and feelings toward you were made very clear to me, Sara. But I can't just jump into this; it's not fair to either of us. If you just expect me to throw caution to the wind, rip your clothes off and ravish you, you are in for a disappointment. I could seriously hurt you with the desire I have for you. You don't know what you are pushing me into." He snarled the last part, the anger finally coming from five years of self-obedience.

"Fine, I'm outta here. Stay locked in this room with your bugs and experiments. They're the only ones you care enough to touch anyway, selfish jerk, now and always!"

Sara stormed out of his office and outside to her Jetta. She didn't look at the building or even in her rear view mirror. If she had, she might have noticed Grissom racing to his Tahoe, and following her home.

Damn her! Damn her! She was so good at pushing his buttons. She wouldn't get away with her attitude and running from him again. He was tired of her having the control. His cell rang.

"Yeah what? Grissom."

"Hello to you too hot shot."

"Is this important because I am a little- damnit! A little busy right now!"

"First of all, stop chasing her like a dog in heat. Second, breakfast is waiting so make a left on Brook Ave and get over here."

"Oh geez I forgot, but I need to talk to her."

"No you don't, not like this. Now come on Gil, chill out and come over here."


	8. Ch8: A Stallion in the Barn

Chapter 8- A Stallion in the Barn

Grissom finally conceded and did as Catherine asked. By the time he got to Catherine's he wasn't sure if he wanted to kill someone or cry.

It was all Catherine could do not to laugh at him. Standing in her doorway he looked so pitiful. Finally, he removed his sunglasses and walked inside. She had just finished his omelet and had put it on the table. Grissom didn't want to sound whiny so he moved away from the Sara subject.

"Looks great, what's in it?"

"It's an old Italian omelet; spinach, ricotta, mozzarella, mushrooms, and garlic spice. Topped off with bacon on the side, an English muffin, and bottomless coffee."

"Catherine I could just kiss you!"

"Wow, fighting with one and making the moves on another. Aren't we quite the ladies man?"

"No, you're just too good to me. But thank you for breakfast."

She sat down at the table and sipped her coffee. Then looked at him as he expertly cut his omelet. It was an art. He cut it into sections, then quarters, then pieces, then seeing her watching him, he looked up.

"What?"

"Sorry I've just never seen anyone take such care in preparing their food."

"Fine food requires a fine touch."

"Ok well now that you're done, tell me Picasso, what caused the blowup?"

He sipped his coffee and then took a deep breath.

"Greg and I got back from a crime scene at the Tangiers. He left and when I walked into my office, Sara was sleeping on the couch. I didn't want to bother her, so I decided to process paperwork. At one point I looked up and Ecklie was passing my office. He was on the phone and the lights were off so he didn't notice me there."

"Ouch that was a close one."

"Yeah well after that I decided he might come back, so I decided to wake her up. I shook her and when she woke up she cut her lip on the gap in her teeth. I swear Catherine, I was acting on the behalf of a scientist when I wiped the blood from her lip." His face began to turn red.

"You did what? With a kleenex?"

He blushed full force at that.

"No just my thumb. The next thing I knew I had her pinned to the couch. My hands were um traveling, my shirt was unbuttoned and the moment was getting intense."

Now it was Catherine's turn to blush.

"Wow, so how did it go from hot passion to hot pursuit?"

"She said my name. I don't know but my mind filled with images of ruining her impression of me. I didn't want to give in for just pure lust. So I stopped and got up. She pulled her usual routine of walking out and I lost my temper."

"Uh-oh and she acted as a woman scorned would. Left you hot, bothered and pissed off. Good for her!"

"Hey whose side are you on anyway?"

"Sorry, I'm just glad she let her anger be known, but go on."

"I tried to tell her that I wasn't rejecting her, I just simply didn't want it to be this way. She accused me of not being able to figure out my emotions and then stormed out. I was mad that once again she had the last word so I went after her. That was until you called- Hey wait a minute. How did you know I was chasing her?"

"Because I was chasing you. You both tore out of the lab so fast you never saw me coming down the hall. So she took off, you were next, and though I nearly ran over Brass, I was right behind you."

"I thought you were cooking?"

"Please, Lindsey isn't here. I'm a take-out queen when she's gone."

"Ah, so this is from Marsico's then."

"Wow you're good! Only the best for my tastes. So let's review your day shall we? You made a move, a very passionate move, pulled out of it, told her off, you got told off, she jets, you chase, I intercept, you get the best breakfast Vegas has to offer and now you need my advice. Does that sum it up?

"Yes, in an out of my way, New York minute, you haven't missed a beat."

"Well you know she's probably at home pounding the hell out of that punching bag that your picture is on. But you did the right thing."

"Yeah well why do I feel like I should have just ravished her right there? Now not only am I blue but I'm well blue."

Catherine's mouth dropped to the table. Grissom was a master at whit but that was the first time he had been so perversely open.

"Sorry."

"Hey don't you worry. You forget I was a stripper. I left more men blue then the mafia leaves red."

"Not me. I took care of that back then." Grissom said with a sigh.

"Say what?" Catherine sat bolt upright in her chair. Still not fully recovered from his blue statement.

Grissom stopped dead in his tracks. He had sworn to himself he would never tell her.

"Forget it."

"Uh-uh no way cowboy, you better fess up."

"It was a long time ago."

"And?"

"All right but you have to promise it changes nothing between us and you won't think bad of me."

"I can't believe this. Here we are ready to discuss Sara and now you and I are playing true confessions? Ok I'm ready. I think."

"All right about 8 years ago, I was at a party for a college friend of mine who was getting married. We stumbled into a club and there clung to a pole was the very elegant Catherine Willows. I was the only one sober but I liked the way you danced."

"Seriously?"

"Yes, but not because of your body, although that was truly worth my time, but you were so strong and didn't bend to the whims of those guys like the others did. Anyway let's just say that I financed a modest few lap dances from you. By the time I got home, well let's just say that the cold shower didn't do the trick."

She couldn't believe her ears. She tried to remember that night but drew a blank. She was high all the time in those days. And she had a feeling that she knew Grissom the first time they met. But his ending confession was mind blowing. Catherine felt a heat growing within her. She looked at his bearded face and saw how red he was. She had to say something.

"How many dances were a modest few?"

"Catherine let it go please." He got up to refill his coffee, hoping that she would change the subject.

"You already told me the more intimate stuff, just tell me."

"15"

"15? I must have done something right for 15 dances. But Gil, my God that was over $500 you spent on me."

"I know talent when I see it."

"You should have told me that a long time ago. I would have doubled the dances for that kind of money." She winked at him. Though he fought it, his manhood heard the call. Images of Sara began flooding his mind once again He had to get out of there. He needed to be home so he could get her out of his mind

"I'll keep my options open."

He smiled and grabbed his jacket. He thanked her for the breakfast and agreed to see her later, then jacket still covering his interested loins, quickly walked to the SUV and left.

From the window Catherine watched the expression of angst on his face.

"Oh Sara what a stallion you have in your barn."


	9. Ch9: Delivering the Secret

Chapter 9. Special Delivery

Sara arrived at home her head completely clouded. She walked through the door and slung her bag on the table. She hadn't realized she had done it so hard because it flew off the table and upside down in a heap on the floor. It didn't matter she wanted her seclusion. Her phone suddenly went off and she grabbed it thinking it was Grissom. It was Disco Placid. Feeling that she might take off an innocent person's head, she opted to call him later.

Five minutes later Sara was under the water of a scalding hot shower. She closed her eyes and leaned against the wall. She shivered, as the water grew hotter. The chills made her think of Grissom's touch on her stomach. She had been so mad at his refusal to make love to her, that she forgot to enjoy the rush of the first encounter. His touch was demanding but gentle. He was obviously skilled and so mind numbingly intense. She could still feel his tongue in her mouth. So what had gone wrong? Everything felt right but something made him stop. This wasn't like before when he had pushed her away. Sara knew they had crossed a border, not just an intimate one, but an emotional one. And what did he mean by he could _hurt her_? She had been with controlling lovers before. But what Grissom said sounded dangerous.

Sara's shower lasted a good 45 minutes. She emerged from her bathroom wrapped in her navy blue bathrobe. Her mind wandered to the day she had bought it. Ironically enough she had envisioned Grissom in it. Blue the best color on him. So she had bought it, after her showers she always wanted to be in it. It was basically her only physical connection to him. Well at least until her session on his couch.

Sara glanced at her answering machine. The light was flashing. Moving to it, she pressed the play button.

"You have 2 new messages. Message 1 received Monday, June 11th 8:13am"

A male's voice sounded.

"Hey Sara, it's Greg. Hodges finished processing the DNA from the Bishop case. Judge Pelligrino needs you to testify Friday morning at 9am. I tried to find you in the lab but you had already left. Do you think uh..nevermind. See you tonight."

She laughed at that one. Poor Greg and his schoolboy crush. Well he was sweet at any rate.

"Message 2 received Monday June 11th 8:32am."

Hmm that was a few minutes ago. It was a female voice this time.

"Ms. Sidle this is Yolanda from the main office. You have a flower delivery awaiting you, I already signed for it. Please come by and pick these gorgeous flowers up."

Flowers? It had to be Grissom, that was his style. Well granted a plant was his last delivery but flowers were more affectionate. She quickly dressed and dashed to the office.

Yolanda a middle-aged woman, with dyed red hair, and long red fingernails, smiled as she came in.

"Aren't they beautiful Sara?"

There were so many different colors of wildflowers. They were so beautiful. Finding the card in the midst of the baby's breath, she opened the envelope.

"Wild flowers for a wild girl. I will woo you here if I have to Sara. Your voice is so angelic. See you Friday night. DP"

Sara smiled but she could feel the disappointment inside. She thanked Yolanda and walked back with her flowers. She decided she better call him and thank him.

"I knew you'd call."

"I told you I would be at the club, you didn't have to send flowers. But I do love them."

"Cool cool, Well you deserve them. I just want you to know you light up my club. Hey do you know if Griss is coming? There's been some punks at his table lately and I want to be sure they're cleared out."

"Grissom? At your club? When?"

"You didn't know? Ah damn, I hope I didn't screw something there. I know he's always on the down low but I figured it was because you dance out there."

"Oh really? How long has he been going there?"

"Baby girl, you know I adore you, but don't put DP in the middle of your little sumpin sumpin. If Griss wants to mack from afar then who am I to blow it?"

"Well you already did but you're safe, I won't tell him I know."

"All right, he's been there every Friday since I opened up. He sits on the upper deck at a corner table. To be honest I'm told when he gets there but I never get time to go talk to him."

"Interesting, ok how would you like to help me put Grissom where he belongs?"

"Say what? He's my boy. I can't take revenge on him."

"Look it won't involve me hurting him, just a good ole case of jealousy."

"And why do you wanna be down for that?"

"Let me tell you some history. You got some time? I'm starving."

"Cool, come to the club. I'll make you breakfast."

"Cool."


	10. Ch10: Touch and Trust

This is what I call the "hard to swallow" chapter but I ask for your patience only because there is more than what I reveal and something strong that stems from this. Trust me. -Onyx

Chapter 10. Touches and Trust

"You want me to do what? Catherine, I am a man in my late 40's, physical exertion is for young guys like Warrick and Greg. Hell, I make Nick run after the scent dogs for me."

Catherine couldn't help but laugh at the shade of red he had turned.

"Look if you want Sara, you have to think her generation Gil."

"I know but-"

"The dancing is not that hard. Once she sees you have rhythm, it will give you a new edge."

"Rhythm has never been my problem. I can dance the classics. My mother was deaf, she couldn't hear the music, but she followed the rhythms by the movements I made. She taught me the steps and I taught her to feel the rhythms."

"Wow, that's amazing. I didn't realize you were so close to your mom."

"I had to be. She's brilliant and very funny but most people don't know that because she doesn't express herself vocally. She taught me everything, still does. Only woman I have ever known that will sit down and eat fried roaches with me."

"Yuck!"

"Yeah well don't knock it till you try it. Anyway what do we do?"

"Ok, first of all, this requires you to completely trust me. I can dance to any kind of music and I can move with it as well. More often then not I'll be touching you in an erotic nature. It's the art of this dance."

"Um- ok. Can't I just rent the movie Dirty Dancing?"

"Maybe as a graduation gift, but no the dancing in that movie is from the 80's. The dance now is more modern. Don't worry I won't hurt you."

"Hurting is not what I fear from you."

"Look Grissom you paid for 15 lap dances. You know I have what you need. We won't discuss this with anyone and you can come over after shift's end."

"What will Lindsay say?"

Catherine was loving this. She had never seen a man squirm so much in her life. He was looking for reasons, but he wasn't going to get the satisfaction.

"Well she's with my sister for another week but I can fix that. She's been dying to stay with her cousins for the summer, and Patty would love it if I let her."

"I can't take you away from your daughter for 3 months to satisfy my needs." He looked alarmed.

"It's not a problem, she lives an hour away. I can go see her on my days off. This is important to me. Hell it's important to the lab. Because if we don't fix this, you and Sara will never quit skulking around."

"Ok ok, I am out of excuses. When do we start?"

"Well I have to be to work in an hour, so you go home and sleep, then come over after shift tomorrow. We can do this on Thursday since I'm off Wednesday's and Thursday's."

"See you later then, thanks for breakfast."

The next evening was harder than Grissom thought it would be. He assigned Sara to work a case with him. Greg and Sofia went to another. His way of thinking was that maybe he could help her understand why he pulled away. Sara was totally cut off from him. She was straight business, only discussed the case details with him. She wouldn't look at him at all unless it was required. At this point he'd rather have worked with Ecklie. The night ended and when he went to say goodbye to her, she wrapped her arms through Greg's and they left together.

Grissom knocked on Catherine's door a short time later. She was dressed in tight spandex shorts and a low-cut white tank top.

"You ready to move them hips?"

"Yeah I guess, remind me why I'm doing this again?"

"Uh to win the heart of Sara Sidle. To give Catherine your best friend a break from drama central?"

"Oh you mean the same Sara that spent the night ignoring me? The one who looked exceptionally great tonight but moved when I got near her like I was Poe's recreation of the plague? That Sara?"

"Uh yeah..ok then. First, I want you to go into my room and change clothes. I picked you up some stuff for our sessions."

"This doesn't involve leotards and a leopard thong does it?"

"Hmm tempting but no. Just go change, I'll be right here."

He emerged from the bedroom a short time later. Surprisingly he made Catherine's heart beat faster. He was in loose fitting black parachute pants, with a tight black tank top. Black wristbands adorned his wrists. She had to give herself credit, he looked ten years younger and ten times stronger. He was more defined in the muscle area then she had expected.

"You look great!"

"I feel naked."

"Ah the first act of this dance is freedom. You can't feel free covered in layers of shirts."

"If you say so. Now what?" His patience and nervousness were growing.

"Ok as I said this requires trust. We make an agreement that you and I are partners. What we do here, stays here. I don't want you to be afraid of me."

"I'm not afraid of you Catherine."

"I don't mean in the respect that I will hurt you. I mean in the respect that our touching will at times be quite erotic. I've been dancing for more years than I can remember. Putting your hands on me and vice versa is an expression of the dance."

"I respect that and you. I agree to your rules."

"All right now, the first part is an exercise. It's designed to take you way out of your comfort level so that during the dance you will feel comfortable. Remember the way we dance here will be the way you dance with Sara later. Now do you trust me?"

"Yes Catherine. There's no one else I trust more."

"Ok, then I want you to touch me. Start with the top of my head. Feel everything, and slowly work your way to my toes. You need to feel every inch. Remember Grissom in doing this, I also have to trust you."

"That would mean that I touch-"

"I know. I promise it's all right. Just keep your focus on my eyes. Talk to me, tell me what you feel." Geez, Catherine thought to herself, how was Sara going to get him naked when he couldn't do a simple exercise?

He was scared beyond anything he could imagine but he knew Catherine wanted to help. He wanted this for Sara. Before he knew it, his hands were on her hair.

"Your hair is soft, and clean. It's not soft like down but a natural wind softness."

"That's beautiful go on."

"Your ears are not too petite but do not stick out. One earring very dainty. The skin that leads to your face is soft also. You have a small furrow to your brow. Your eyebrows hardly there. The green in your eyes reflect mine, small pupils."

"I bet your poetry in school wowed the teachers."

"Well I had to get good grades somehow. I hated writing and history."

"Ok back to work, Mr. Frost."

"Your nose has a tiny little point to it. Not noticeable but a treasured feature. The curve of your lips forms perfectly. Your lips nicely shaded naturally."

"Good, feel them with yours."

"You want me to?" He had no idea what to do. Grissom trusted her but what if he couldn't control himself. The image of Sara was burning in his mind.

"Trust Grissom trust."

He wasn't sure about this but he found her allure more compelling than he realized. Gently he closed his eyes, his mouth tenderly covering hers. The feel was different from Sara's, thinner but wider. He realized that she wasn't kissing him back so he pulled away.

"That was curious. I haven't kissed a woman that didn't well you know?"

"Kiss back? Oh granted I could have but this is self-exploration and comfort changes. This is about getting beyond a sexual feeling to explore the inner emotion. If I had turned it erotically, then every time we got close, sparks would fly and the dance turns passionate romantically not artfully."

"All right. I understand. I'm ready."

He stroked the underside of her jaw, down her neck, and to her upper chest. His poetic lines following his hands. When he reached her breasts, he didn't hesitate. He treated them like her ears and face. A gentle flush crawling on his neck.

"Tender yet strong. They are rounded and sit where they are supposed to. You carry them well."

"Very good, ok moving on. By the way, you have nice hands, but we will get to that when it's my turn."

"Your turn?"

"Yes we're partners. We share equally."

He could feel a flush creep over his skin. His hands continued on their journey. Every touch a new experience and a different way to describe it. Catherine was used to this experience and felt perfectly at ease with Grissom. Then he got to her inner thighs and what he said made her blush.

"The heat you radiate from your inner most core, calls men of the largest sizes to penetrate it. It is here that you dwell with your inner most desires. A tender spot some have entered but all have dreamed of."

It was the most erotic thing she had ever heard, but it was also the most beautiful. Grissom was a man of deep passions and she wanted to open that up. One thing she knew about Sara was that she was deeply but openly passionate. When you put two flames that hot together, sparks would fly eternally.

He continued down to her toes and finally after complimenting her blue sparkle nail polish, he rose to his feet.

"You did perfectly, and I can tell that you have nothing but respect and admiration for the female form. Now I want you to hold still as I begin my journey. I warn you, I am not as beautifully poetic as you, so this may go a little quicker."

"All right but be gentle Catherine."

"Trust me."

She did as he had done, starting with the top of his head.

"I've always wanted to play with your curls. Have you always had them?"

"Yes my mother said my curls were a sign of ferility, that I was going to make her lots of grandchildren. You can see how far I got with that one."

"Mmm ok. Your ears are a nice size, not too big or small. I like the creases of your brow and near your eyes. It's experience and wisdom. The beard that goes around your mouth and down on your chin is very soft. Not at all scratchy like most. Your lips are soft and nicely rounded. Your neck is strong-"

"Wait, why is it that you didn't explore my lips like you made me do?"

She couldn't hide her amusement. He playfully grabbed her wrist.

"You said it was part of the learning." He moved forward, boldly challenging her.

"Nah, it's just I wanted to know what kind of magic you had there. It was just a joke."

"Equal is equal Catherine."

She began to laugh, but the next thing she knew his lips were once again on hers, exploring, tasting. It wasn't the shy little kiss from before. She mistakenly opened her mouth to his, and his tongue quickly followed. Catherine had never known a man so passionate and so restrained. He clung to her tightly, his kissing getting more and more intense. She wasn't sure where this road was leading. What did she expect? Meanwhile Grissom closed his eyes and pictured Sara. It wasn't hard to get carried away.

"Gil, what are you, what are we doing?"

"Research I thought."

"You're full of surprises. But we have to quit this now or you and I are going straight back to that cold and lonely bed of mine."

"What are we waiting for then, let me help you warm it up."

"Grissom what are you saying? It's me you're talking to. We've both been lonely for so long but what about Sara?"

"I don't care about her tonight. I love Sara, I want her more than my own life, but I need you to tell me that I am still right for her. I need you to teach me and learn from me. You are my best friend Catherine. I love you, you know I do. You are the only one I trust to do this with."

"Wow, what happened to the shy Grissom who blushed at the mention of touch me? "

"I'm scared Catherine, look Sara is a lot younger than me. I know my talents in those areas but what if she wants more? I have to know I can still be there for her on all levels. You can say no. You can always say stop Catherine. But you are beautiful and I don't know if I can ever be this brave again."

"Maybe I'm crazy maybe I'm just lonely but we'll still be us tomorrow. No strings."

"No strings Catherine. Teacher and student. We'll figure out who's who later."

He took her hand and led her to her room.

Grissom had just fallen asleep when his cell rang. After a nice evening with Catherine, Grissom needed sleep in his own bed.

grumble "Grissom"

"Yo Griss damn I forgot you work graveyard."

"I'm used to getting very little sleep, Disco, what's up?"

"I just wanted to make sure you were coming Saturday night."

"Hadn't planned on it."

"Ah come on man, I'm trying out these new lights and I need some eyes at top level. Sara's going to work the floor for me."

That's all it took for him, and Disco knew he had said the magic word.

"All right I guess I owe you one. I'll be there at 8."

"Jive, peace out Griss."

He wondered what she would be doing. He hoped she would sing. His last thought as he floated into REM was that of her swaying in his arms.


	11. Ch11: The Doctor Is In

Chapter 11- The Doctor's In

Sara seemed to be in a good mood that night. And though his curiosity cried out to know why, he put her on a case with Greg and he took Sofia. The night was slow overall. Mostly followups from the day crew and autopsies to check in on. He always loved his time with Dr. Robbins. The morgue was quiet and a good place to get advice.

"Hey Gil. Just released Renea Fanatro to her mother. I had really hoped that this was murder, suicide is always the hardest to deal with."

"Death itself is always the hardest to deal with, when you aren't us. In a way our science shields us from most of the horrors and moral wrong doings of death."

"Yeah well even so. It can be brutal."

"So what's on your mind or maybe I should say who?" Al took a leap at what was plaguing him.

"Who? Why do you say that?" Grissom mocked innocence.

"As much as I enjoy our talks on morbid murder cases, you don't visit unless you need advice. Is this about Sara?"

"What is this place, a gossip magazine?"

"Gil everyone knows how the two of you feel about each other. Even as shaded as I am being down here, I still hear things, I still see the looks between you two. You forget I have been married for 27 years. I know the way it all works."

"The truth is Sara and I have been running circles around each other since I met her. I've never been open about the way I feel."

"You didn't ask for my advice but since I'm at an advantage here, let me give it to you anyway. First, I think time has you thinking because Sara is younger, that you are too old for her."

"That's part of it." Sighed Grissom

"Do you honestly think Sara cares for you because she sees a sex symbol? If she did wouldn't she want Nick, Warrick, or Greg?"

"You really know to make a guy feel all fuzzy Doc."

"Look you're distinguished. Sara is emotional but she's not the party doll, or someone that acts like a teenager. She takes her work very seriously, she reads forensic journals, and listens to police scanners at home. Other than the way she looks, I'd believe she is in her 40's too!"

"She takes life too seriously sometimes."

"And you don't? Let me ask you something since the age thing bothers you. Have you ever seen the way she looks at you? Ever seen a moment where you caught her just looking? Has Sara ever given you any indication that she is only to be frank, in lust with you?"

"No but if you ask half the people around here, I spend too much time with my bugs and microscopes."

"That's a given. She never looked at that medic what was his name?"

"Hank" Grissom said with obvious disgust.

"Thank you, she never looked at him that way. She loves you Grissom, and not short term either. You're afraid that you will not be able to please her and that she is looking to satisfy a lustful obsession, but Gil if you look at that girl, you would realize you are her life."

"How do you know so much?" Grissom asked suddenly feeling better.

"Sara's just as obvious as you are. Do you know before she came here, she had a life dating, hanging out with friends, going to school? She came here for you, she lives for you. Show her the way you feel, and for Pete's sake smile occasionally."

"A coroner and a psychologist all in one morgue."

"Yeah college would have been less had I chose the latter."

"Thanks Al."

"Anytime"


	12. Ch12: Hi Pressured Follies

Chapter 12- High Pressured Follies

Grissom left the morgue on cloud nine. Not only did Al assure him he was good for Sara, but she led her life for him. He felt selfishly happy. He couldn't wait to see her. For the first time, he knew what he wanted. He also knew how to get it. Finally Grissom was out of the dark. Now he only had to wait to see her.

He didn't wait long. She came in later covered in blood. Everything from her orange t-shirt to her face was red.

"What happened to you?"

"Our vic had her throat cut. Greg saw a bandaid on her neck and went to pull it off. I reached over to stop him and got sprayed by her corrated artery."

"Where's Greg?"

"He took some shell casings to Ballistics. He used me to block the blood."

Grissom felt so good he started laughing.

"What's with you? I feel like a vampire's idea of dessert."

"Sorry it makes a great picture. And an even better one thinking of a vampire chasing you! Maybe you should hit the showers."

"I intend to. But I wanted to talk to you. If you can get your giggles under control."

"Well you can't come in my office doused in blood, Ecklie will think I've gone to the Hitler method of supervising. I tell you what, Let's go in the garage and I'll help you spray the blood off your clothes. You collected blood for DNA right?"

"Yeah there was a ton."

"Shall we?" He said lightly grasping her arm.

Sara stood in the middle of the garage while Grissom used the hose on her. She hadn't realized how high-pressured the water was, but it felt good on her skin. Sara used special lye soap to scrub the blood off the skin she could reach. When she went to lean forward to squeeze out her hair, the hose ripped the shirt from her chest. Except for the fact that Grissom stopped the hose, she hadn't noticed.

"What's wrong Grissom?"

He blushed slightly and pointed to her chest. The bubbles of lust climbing his thighs. She work a black bra and her nipples were achingly hard.

"Oh wow, um where's my shirt?"

Grissom managed to pull his eyes from her and look around. The shirt was caught just above the door, out of reach. Seeing it at the same time, they both raced for it. Before either could catch themselves they painfully fell in heap on the ground after crashing into each other.

Sara rubbed her side and Grissom his lower back. They looked at each other and laughed uncontrollably. They were both soaking wet and hysterical when Nick and Warrick came in the door. A sight they were, both sitting on the floor in a large puddle, Sara's legs draped over Grissom's thighs. Sara in only a bra, and in the process, Sara had ripped the first three buttons of his shirt open.

Warrick came out of shock first.

"Yo uh sorry guys, we didn't know you previously reserved the place."

"Yeah, we'll come back later." Nick smiled larger than life. Grissom desperately trying to save Sara from humiliation, pulled her into him. This only made the smirks on Nick and Warrick's face widen.

"Guys guys!" Grissom hollered.

"Ok saying this isn't what it looks like will go over like a lead balloon. All I ask is that you don't tell anyone. And especially not Greg."

"You're the boss Grissom, but damn I thought I was bold." Laughed Warrick. He and Nick left the two to their embarrassment.

Grissom laughed but Sara just stared at him.

"What?"

"You didn't tell them that we were innocent."

"What for? They wouldn't believe us anyway. At any rate, Nick will slip and tell Greg. It will be all over the lab but hell if we are going to get rumors flying let's do it right huh?"

"What has gotten into you?"

"Just tired of running. At my age who has that kind of energy?"

Sara laughed and started to get up, but Grissom held her back.

"I said, let's do it right, and Sara I meant it."

Pulling her into his lap, he kissed her, slowly at first, but then faster and more intense. She was sitting so close to him he could hear her heartrate increase. He loved Sara, he had no doubts now. But he didn't want her here like this. He wanted it special.

"Sara, I think you need to go to the showers. Hmm or maybe I do, but I want to tell you before you go. I'm not going anywhere, ok?"

She kissed him again, got up, grabbed her wet, crumpled shirt and walked from the room. The smile never left her face. And from behind, still on the floor, his didn't either.


	13. Ch13: Sway Me

**Chapter 13- Sway Me**

Grissom arrived at Catherine's about an hour later. When he walked in, he looked like the cat that ate the canary.

"What's that all about?"

"Sara and I had a bit of a run in."

"Oh let me guess, you and her, all wet and all over each other on the garage floor. She was half nude and you were ripped open by your shirt."

"Damnit! Nick, Warrick, or Greg?"

"Sara."

"Sara? She was in the shower when I left."

"No, she was on the phone with me."

"What? Why?"

"She thinks you lost your mind, and wanted to call and confirm it."

"I have lost my mind Catherine, but it's not the part she resides in that's gone."

"Good, ok are you ready to dance?"

"Wait! That's it? Aren't you going to fill me in on the rest of the conversation?

"No, girl talk stuff. But don't worry, you aren't in much danger."

Grissom was annoyed but he knew Catherine was a rock of loyalty when she gave her word. There was no breaking it.

"Ok where do we start?"

"All right, did you bring your clothes?"

He lifted his buttoned down shirt to reveal that he had it beneath. Then promptly began to remove his exterior clothing.

"Now that we have gotten through the uncomfortable sensations of embarrassing touches, we can work on the moves."

"I wanted to tell you Catherine that the other night was nice. Uh ok now what?"

Catherine smiled at him warmly. She was happy he had said it, she knew it was hard for him.

"Ok first we need some music. I prefer a latin sound to begin with, but as we go on, we will slow the rhythm down."

She started the music and reached for his hand.

"First, an important part is to keep eye contact. The dance then becomes intimate. Take both hands and put them here on my hips, my hands will go high on your shoulders near your neck."

Grissom did as he was told. And Catherine positioned as well.

"Now the steps are fast to start. You as the lead have a responsibility to be the aggressor. So I will show you your part. Your hips thrust forward and your upper body leans in. At the same time your left leg comes forward, your leg from the thigh down now in between my legs."

"I think I have that, now is this a slow movement or fast?"

"Fast, because that move is like the chorus line of this dance. It will be repeated several times. Now my responsibility as your female lead-"

"Wait, I thought there was only one lead."

"Cool your britches there tough guy. This kind of dancing has a male lead and a female. In some of these dances the aggressor can be the female. Also, in most dances the female mimics what the male does, which is why he leads. In passion dancing, both partners have their own parts but they move in harmony with each other."

"I like that theory. The guys always get blamed for misleading."

"Oh ha ha, aren't you a regular Bob Hope? Can we pay attention here?"

Grissom smiled at his own amusement and resumed his position.

"Now as I was saying, my responsibility comes in at first playing hard to get. The quicker you agress the quicker I regress. So when you come at me, I pull back, my hips moving backward, I also lean backward, and my right leg comes back."

"Sounds frustrating for the guy if it were the real thing."

"Oh yes, but she soon comes around. You ready to try it?"

"Do I get to be Fred Astaire?"

"Just call me Ginger, ok let's go."

They moved quickly and the first time, Grissom used the wrong leg causing them to nearly topple. The second time he leaned in too far and again nearly toppled them. Finally, third time being the charm, Grissom looked like he was a natural.

"Wow Gil you have a lot of passion in your body language."

"My mother always said that dancing was like art, you couldn't paint with just your hands, you had to paint yourself into the canvas."

"Well it works for you. Come on let's do it again."

By the time they finished, Grissom and Catherine had worked up a sweat and added two new parts to the routine. Grissom finally felt like he might be a challenge for Sara out on the floor. He went home and fell asleep dreamily thinking of Sara and the way he would toss her around the dance floor.


	14. Ch14: Words Like Wildfire

Chapter 14- Words like Wildfire

**Chapter 14- Words like Wildfire**

Catherine took a long swig of her coffee. It was Friday but her Monday and coffee always kick started her week. The combination of caffeine, sugar, and irish creme left her mouth satisfied. Warrick had passed her office, glanced in at her and kept walking. This was extremely unusual in his case, they usually drank coffee together in the morning. Lately her and Warrick had been together a lot. She loved the conversations they had. They talked about everything from marriage to religion, from kids to gambling.

She walked to the door and noticed him sitting in the break room, his back to her. Maybe he thought she was busy and didn't want to disturb her. Catherine had once again taken pity on Grissom and agreed to do some of his file work. So she decided to go join Warrick in the break room.

"Hey you." She said cheerfully

"Hey." He sounded out of sorts.

"What are you up to?"

"Nothing. Look I have to work on the Grant case, I'll uh catch ya in brief. See ya."

With that he got up and walked out. Catherine was stunned at his cold demeanor. The Grant case wasn't high on the priority list. She returned to the cold loneliness of her office. Her mind went back to a few months ago when they had worked a case together.

She and Grissom had been called in to work a scene in the sewers. After seeing the rough conditions, Grissom opted out and had Warrick work the case with her. They had been underground for hours following tunnels, finally when they emerged, the sun was up. As they headed up the side of the ditch, Catherine slipped and fell right into Warrick's muscular arms.

The moment seemed intent on a kiss, her stomach hungered for it with butterflies. But at the last moment a city worker interrupted them. She fantasized about that time often, the possibilities, where it could have lead. Today that memory seemed sad. Her phone rang.

"Yeah Willows."

"Hey it's Grissom."

"Oh hi." Her tone a little monotone.

"Everything all right?"

"Yeah uh fine what's up?"

"Forgot to ask you if you will be my date for tomorrow?"

"Oh?"

"Yeah Disco asked me to come to the club and check out the new lighting system."

"Sounds lovely." She tried not to sound sarcastic.

"Well I thought you could see the dance style there and incorporate it into our lessons."

"Sara will be there is that what you are getting at?"

"Um yeah."

"All right can you pick me up at 8?"

"Your carriage awaits you my lady."

"Oh don't make me gag, Romeo. See you at shift change."

Sara called Disco and told him that the charade was off. She couldn't do this to Grissom. Disco agreed but told her he would keep the idea fresh if she needed it still. Her stomach had butterflies as she thought about the garage scene.

_"Sara, I think you need to go to the showers. Hmm or maybe I do, but I want to tell you before you go. I'm not going anywhere."_

Those words played on her mind. She wondered how he would be tonight. She was so worked up she thought she had better hit the gym, work off some of her uneasy tension. She couldn't wait to see him.

The mood hadn't changed with Warrick when Catherine walked into the meeting room an hour later. He was sarcastic about one of the witnesses. He kept tapping the table with his pen and he barely paid any attention. The breaking point was when Nick made a joke and Warrick lunged at him. Catherine would have found it funny had the joke not been about her. It seemed like her name somehow set him off. Nick sat back in his chair looking like he'd just been punished.

"Ok Nick get me the DNA results from Jenny Grant's sweater. Call Brass and tell him to meet you at the middle school and I'll be there soon."

"Yeah all right." Nick said still looking wounded.

"Warrick, I want to talk to you in my office."

When Catherine shut the door, she shot him a questioning look.

"Something you want to tell me Warrick?"

"No, Nick pissed me off, I took care of it."

"What does that mean? You and Nick are like best friends, and regardless of what he said, you have no business getting in his face."

"Look I don't want to talk about this, cool?"

"No, I can't send you out on a case like this. You nearly killed Nick, I can't imagine what you will do with our suspect."

"Hey, let's not talk about professionalism around her Catherine. Now if you want me off the case then tell me. But I'm a level 3 and I can handle my business."

Finally he stood up and headed for the door. Maybe she shouldn't have but Warrick was never so cold, so she had to have the last word, or so she thought.

"Yeah that's right a damn level 3 CSI, that acts like an adolescent teenager. What's wong Warrick, jealous that Nick got some last night and you didn't?" She half smiled proud of her little joke.

She expected him to laugh and admit he was being silly but he turned, walked over to her and put his face right in hers.

"Yeah well if I did, it sure as hell wouldn't be with you, I guess I don't got what Grissom has!"

He pushed away from her and walked out. Catherine's heart began to beat out of her chest. Where did he get that from? She knew in her heart that Grissom would never say anything. She quickly picked up her cell and called.

"Grissom we need to talk."

It had been a day of hell for Warrick. He had been so angry with Catherine all day that he never left the garage. He promised Sara he would help dismantle a Volkswagon for her crime scene, said he would work some overtime. But he had been so mad, he dismantled the car all alone, found the stray bullet she needed and a bag of Mary Jane. Had it been the old days he would have lit up just to calm down.

He couldn't believe that Catherine and Grissom had slept together. What was more, he couldn't believe he was this angry. But he realized that he thought a lot about her these days. When he had heard the news he had shucked it off flying as office rumors, but the evidence hit him in the face. So he threw himself into his work. He became so busy he nearly smashed Sara with the tire iron as he was putting the wheels back on.

"Hey Warrick, sheesh."

"Oh hey Sara. Sorry about that, the rim is stubborn from the wreck."

"Why are you putting it on? I thought we were going to take it apart."

"Yeah well I already did, and put it all back together. Took six roles of film and sent a bullet to ballistics, and a bag of MJ to trace and tox."

"Well that was awesome and great news for our case. Grissom will be happy."

"Yeah I just bet he will."

With that he threw the tire iron, it ricocheted off the back door and finally made a clanging sound as it came to rest on the ground.

"What's with you Warrick?"

"Nevermind, I suspect you will hear it soon enough, but I ain't gonna break your heart. I gotta get outta here. See ya Sara."

He walked out and left yet another confused female in his fury. Sara replayed his words in her head. Surely he was mad at Grissom but what would happen to break her heart. She decided to hit the DNA lab and get the blood results from her vic.

When she walked in she was surprised to see Greg there in a lab coat.

"Hey, why are you back in here?"

"Our new lab tech broke a bottle of acid on his arm, they rushed him to the emergency room. Ecklie called me and told me to fill in."

"Yeah ok." She said a little distracted.

Greg walked around the table and put his arm around her. She thought this was another attempt at his childish crush for her. Then when she saw the look on his face, she couldn't say anything.

"Sara, I know that you think of me only as a friend, and I know you would never care for me romantically but I am still a great shoulder to cry on. Whatever the reason was that Grissom and Catherine slept together, I know he still loves you."

Sara flew from his arm. Her eyes cold upon him.

"What did you just say?"

"Uh um damn you didn't know?"

"Why would he sleep with Catherine? The man couldn't find sex in a textbook let alone in a bedroom! Where did you hear this Greg?"

"I, geez Sara, maybe you better ask Grissom."

"Ask me what?"

Grissom stood coolly in the door of the lab. His look of harshness focused on Greg. Grissom had never been this scared in his lifetime. He was more than prepared to defend himself, but Sara did something she never did. She looked at him and began to cry.

"Just when I thought I had made a breakthrough, you show me that I opened the door for everyone else. I have to get outta here. Damn you Grissom. Fire me if you have to, or maybe I'll just quit this time. And don't bother sending me any damned plants!"

As she walked off he thought he heard her call him an insensitive bastard. Catherine had called Nick and asked if he would mind pulling a double. He agreed happily as he was saving up for a new sports car. The extra money would be bank for him. Grissom waited till Nick returned, got someone to cover for Greg and then pulled him into his office.

"What happened? Who told you that Catherine and I slept together Greg? Or is this another one of your attempts to catch Sara?"

"I would never hurt Sara to gain her approval. I'm not you Grissom! She's spent so long running after you. So much so that guys like me don't have any chance. And what do you do? You hurt her more deeply than anything she has ever felt. If you must know Hodges is the one that told me and Warrick."

Grissom waited before speaking, he knew that Greg was trying to defend Sara, at risk to himself.

"What the hell does Hodges know?"

"Well his new girlfriend lives across the street from Catherine, and he has seen you over there a lot lately."

"So Catherine and I are friends, and I am Lindsey's Godfather."

"Yeah well the other night he saw you show up over there, said he saw some pretty intimate stuff in the shadows of the front window, and then her bedroom light when on, then off, and you didn't leave till the following morning."

"I will deal with Hodges, Greg. In the meantime, you are to tell no one of this, especially not Nick when you guys work together tonight. You understand me?"

"Yes sir." He said it more repugnantly than with respect.

Greg didn't dare ask he just followed orders. He had seen the same anger when a baby boy had been killed 4 years ago. He had nearly ransacked his lab to get Greg working primarily on that case. But on the other hand Greg felt good for what he had said.

He and Grissom joined Nick in the conference room.

"Nick, Sara had some personal business to attend to at home, so I appreciate you coming in. You and Greg will be working on the Jasper case. Catherine said Warrick found marijuana and a bullet in the vic's car. I have some loose ends to attend to here but you can reach me on the cell."

As soon as they had gone, Grissom left to meet Catherine at a tiny bar called the Langtree Lounge. It was in the complete opposite direction of any of the crime lab people.

"You know Catherine." He said after sitting in a back table with her.

"Even when I do right by Sara, I do wrong."

"Any idea of where the leak came from?"

"Hodges"

"What? Who told you that?"

"Our little Greg. Hodges told Warrick and Greg who in turn told Sara."

He laid out the story for her. Stopping occasionally to let Catherine get some angry curse words in. When he was done, Catherine didn't know whether to laugh or to cry."

"This would be funny if Sara and Warrick weren't involved."

"I know."

"Think she is writing her leave of absence slip right now?"

"Maybe, she told me not to send her a plant."

"All right well I have a plan, but first you have to swear to me to keep a secret."


	15. Ch15: Right Hook Revenge

Chapter 15- Right-Hook Revenge

Chapter 15- Right-Hook Revenge

Sara threw the midriff top in the pile with the rest. She couldn't decide what to wear. She knew that everything she was going to say was going to play out through her music and her body. What she needed was something irresistibly sexy. Sara thought back to her cases with Grissom. He seemed to find her attractive in normal clothes, but he especially liked her tight sleeveless shirts. He had been busted staring. She knew the perfect outfit.

Reaching to the top shelf of her closet, she took down a beige box. It had been years since the box had been opened. The pants were tight leather, a little cliché she thought but men were easy to control fashionably. Grissom she knew was no different in this respect. The top was a tight black sleeveless, very low-cut in the front and criss-crossed straps that went over her bare shoulders and tied in the back. Finally happy with the fit of everything she glanced in the mirror. Without a hint of arrogance or conceit, she knew she looked like a moving violation. This would be perfect. She was in such an evil mood that she wished Grissom were in front of her; she would spit in his eye.

He and Catherine entered Grissom's usual table and sat down. He noticed that Sara was already in her usual spot. A black jacket covered her shoulders. She looked to be having a conversation with a nice looking black man. A pang of jealousy shot into Grissom's gut. The guy was dark, had thick muscles, a black tank top, and his hands were on Sara's back.

Catherine knew danger was coming. She looped her arm through Grissom's. The man helped Sara out of her coat and began massaging her bare shoulders. What he hated most was Sara seemed to be enjoying it.

"You are soooo good at this Reg, why don't you do it professionally?"

"Well I would but some people get jealous and I don't need the drama at home."

Sara began to laugh. She nearly turned to look at him but she was roughly pulled back in her position on the stool.

"Sara cool it, he's nearly burning a hole through the back of my head. You have to act like you're in ecstasy. I'm going to try running my hands further down your chest, so I'm going to move your stool a little more in his direction. Just close your eyes and enjoy."

"Ok but promise to give me a play by play."

"All right, now you're facing him. He's standing right there at the railing up there. Now is the time to act out of your mind with pleasure."

Sara let out a groan that was only half faked. His hands felt wonderful. She opened her mouth wide so Grissom could see the extent of her pleasure. His hands almost touched her chest.

Grissom nearly ripped Catherine's arm off. Catherine had to laugh silently, she never thought Grissom to be maniacal jealous. The music started and Disco got up to welcome everyone.

"Wazz up ya'll. Yo yo yo got some fly hunnis in here today. And fellas want to give you a shout out for bouncing up in here tonight. We got a lot of fun planned for you tonight so hang loose and let me hear you say HEY!"

Crowd shouts HEY!

"All right now to get things hot in here, I'm gonna sing a song by my boy Usher. Be cool ya'll, this goes out to a very special couple, listen up. This song isn't rocket-science."

_Girl, understand why__  
__See it's burning me to hold onto this__  
__I know this is something I gotta do__  
__But that don't mean I want to__  
__What I'm trying to say is that I-love-you I just__  
__I feel like this is coming to an end__  
__And its better for me to let it go now than hold on and hurt you__  
__I gotta let it burn_

_It's gonna burn for me to say this__  
__But it's comin from my heart__  
__It's been a long time coming__  
__But we done been fell apart__  
__Really wanna work this out__  
__But I don't think ya gonna change ya__  
__I do but you don't__  
__Think it's best we go our separate ways__  
__Tell me why I should stay in this relationship__  
__When I'm hurting baby, I ain't happy baby__  
__Plus theres so many other things I gotta deal with__  
__I think that you should let it burn_

Catherine knew that the song was meant for him and Sara. Grissom didn't notice at first, his eyes locked on Sara. Disco had kept Catherine on the up and up since he had started the club. She knew Grissom needed to hear the song, internalize it, realize what was slipping. She also knew what Sara had planned, but Catherine had vowed to keep the secret. She hadn't told Grissom that part, only a little something on the side.

_When your feeling ain't the same and your body don't want to__  
__But you know gotta let it go cuz the party ain't jumpin' like it used to__  
__Even though this might bruise you__  
__Let it burn__  
__Let it burn__  
__Gotta let it burn_

_Deep down you know it's best for you except but you__  
__Hate the thought of her being with someone else__  
__But you know that it's over__  
__You know that it was through__  
__Let it burn__  
__Let it burn__  
__Gotta let it burn_

Grissom was still mad but somehow the lyrics were penetrating his anger. He didn't want Sara to be anyone else's.

_Sendin' pages I ain't supposed to__  
__Got somebody here but I want you__  
__Cause the feelin ain't the same find myself__  
__Callin' her your name__  
__Ladies tell me do you understand?__  
__Now all my fellas do you feel my pain?__  
__It's the way I feel__  
__I know I made a mistake__  
__Now it's too late__  
__I know she ain't comin back__  
__What I gotta do now__  
__To get my shorty back__  
__Ooo ooo ooo ooooh__  
__Man I don't know what I'm gonna do__  
__Without my booo__  
__You've been gone for too long__  
__It's been fifty-eleven days, um-teen hours__  
__Imma be burnin' till you return (let it burn)_

It was all that he had been feeling. Grissom finally realized that Sara was slow dancing on the floor with that same guy. His body shook violently, the jealousy like a hurricane inside of him.

_When your feeling ain't the same and your body don't want to__  
__But you know gotta let it go cuz the party ain't jumpin' like it used to__  
__Even though this might bruise you__  
__Let it burn (let it burn, let it burn, you gon'learn)__  
__Let it burn (gotta let it burn)__  
__Gotta let it burn___

_Deep down you know it's best for yourself but you__  
__Hate the thought of her being with someone else__  
__But you know that it's over__  
__you know that it was through__  
__Let it burn__  
__Let it burn__  
__Gotta let it burn_

_I'm twisted cuz one side of me is tellin' me that I need to move on__  
__On the other side I wanna break down and cry (ooooh)__  
__I'm twisted cuz one side of me is tellin' me that I need to move on__  
__On the other side I wanna break down and cry (yeah)_

Grissom's mind went back to the case of Debbie Marlin. He remembered that his feelings during that case matched the song perfectly. He was torn between loving her and letting her go to hide the pain, but he never really went either way. It took him a moment to realize Catherine was talking to him.

"Gil if this is too much we can leave."

"No, I- I'll be fine." He said quickly disregarding the idea.

The next hour passed uneventfully. Sara danced a few dances and got ready to sing. It wasn't long before seven big black guys placed themselves at the front table. Just as Disco promised, he played three more songs, and then made his announcement.

"All right ya'll. You gettin down in here?"

Crowd hollers YEAH!

"Cool, now I know my girl hasn't been up to sing in awhile but I finally talked her into it. So here she is a voice like an angel, and a body as sexy as a Greek goddess. Give it up for Shana!"

Sara took the floor, her outfit accented by the spotlight. The music began, Sara's heart was racing; but she had never been more ready. The music came slowly at first...

_See, baby__  
__I know you done had your share of girls__  
__I am more than confident__  
__You won't ever have to search any streets for__  
__affection__  
__I got you_

The beat began picking up speed. Sara smiled at Disco.

_What kind of girl you like__  
__I know my looks can be deceivin'__  
__Tell me am I your type__  
__My main goal is to please you_

The outfit she had on was the most revealing thing he had ever seen. He could feel his libido rising.

_What's on the schedule tonight__  
__Am I the reason you'll be treatin'__  
__I hope you have an appetite__  
__So tell me will you come and spend the night_

The lyrics brought on a roar from the front table. She was playing right to them, and worst of all this new guy was among them.

_My love is like...wo__  
__My kiss is like...wo__  
__My touch is like...wo__  
__My sex is like...wo__  
__My ass is like...wo__  
__My body's like...wo__  
__And you're kissin' it__  
__So what you think of it_

She danced shamelessly to their table, her hands making motions that suggested a come on. Her dancing was enticing and seductive. The fires of jealousy burned within Grissom.

_My love is like...wo__  
__My kiss is like...wo__  
__My touch is like...wo__  
__My sex is like...wo__  
__My ass is like...wo__  
__My body's like...wo__  
__And you're kissin' it__  
__So what you think of it_

Suddenly he couldn't believe his eyes. Helped up by three of the guys, she began to dance on the table. All the men in the bar crowded around Sara as she shook her upper body and swiveled her hips to them. Her black leather pants glimmering in the lights. Grissom looked at Catherine as to assure himself that she too was seeing this. Catherine was trying desperately to hide her laugh. She knew that Grissom was all mixed up. Catherine had to give the girl credit, she set out to scorn a man she didn't do it half-assed.

_When will you come through__  
__'Cause I'll be waitin' up right here__  
__Can you bring some Belvedere__  
__So we can pop the cork and cheers_

_Please have no fear Yeah__  
__I just wanna love you right__  
__I hope you have an appetite__  
__So tell baby, will you come and spend the night?_

The guys had their hands all over her and Sara was reveling in it. She couldn't see Grissom's face with the lights but she could feel the heat. It was the bravest and most electrifying moment of her life. She felt free and knowing that Grissom was watching gave her a high that no drug could ever do. Revenge was sweet, Sara thought.

"Gil don't do something you'll regret." Catherine pleaded.

"Catherine, Sara would never do what she is doing unless she has been drinking. Look at those guys, they're all over her."

"Did you ever think maybe she's having fun?"

"This is not fun Catherine. Just because Greg told her we slept together, doesn't mean she needs to act like...well like a cheap tramp."

Catherine's mouth dropped open and it was that moment that she realized just how tortured the man was. Not only tonight but for nearly six years. He had battled the burden of loving Sara and now he was being destroyed by it.

_My love is like...wo__  
__My kiss is like...wo__  
__My touch is like...wo__  
__My sex is like...wo__  
__My ass is like...wo__  
__My body's like...wo__  
__And you're kissin' it__  
__So what you think of it_

_My love is like...wo__  
__My kiss is like...wo__  
__My touch is like...wo__  
__My sex is like...wo__  
__My ass is like...wo__  
__My body's like...wo__  
__And you're kissin' it__  
__So what you think of it_

Sara pointed at Darius, and he knew that was his signal. He grabbed her from the table and kissed her more passionately than even Casa Nova could have. Sara got caught up in the excitement and wrapped herself around him. Before she could get her feet, she was ripped from Darius and flung over a big strong shoulder. Looking down Sara recognized the bow-legged walk of Grissom. Her smile was golden, she waived at the guys who all raised their glasses in amusement. Catherine stood at the bottom of the steps, Grissom launched the keys to the Denali at her without a word and walked out the door.

Disco stepped up to Catherine. An amused smile was on his face. Darius ran out to the parking lot after Grissom.

"What the hell are you doing with her? She's with me!"

Grissom countered, "No, she isn't. Back off and go back inside."

"Hell no! The lady and I came here together and I'm not going anywhere without her." Over his shoulder Sara grinned. Darius was so smooth.

Finally he put Sara down.

"Sara stay here!" he ordered.

"I don't know who you are or where she met you. Sara loves me so she isn't going to waste her time with you. Move on to someone else. I will take her home. Believe me she isn't dating anyone else for any reason. Sorry that she led you on."

Behind him Sara's mouth was gaping. Was she really hearing this?

"You know what, why would she want some old man when she can have this? If she loves you why haven't you made a move? Uh-uh she's coming home with me. Come on Sara." Darius finished the last line triumphantly. He was sure that Grissom would now pronounce his love and Sara could give him the queue to leave.

Grissom turned to look at Sara. Sara was smiling at Darius not expecting Grissom to look at her. All the anger and jealousy pushing the man over the edge sent Grissom back at Darius. A quick hard right to the jaw and Darius hit the pavement. Sara jumped on Grissom's back sure that he wasn't finished.

"Knock it off Grissom! Geez you might have broken his jaw!"

Darius stood up and punched Grissom hard in the stomach, knocking the wind and Sara from him. Grissom wouldn't be outdone so he lunged at Darius. The two fell hard to the pavement. Over and over they rolled until Brass and Sara pulled them apart. Grissom's lip was bleeding and Darius holding his jaw.

"You know what man, this chic ain't worth it! Take her you arrogant ass but next time don't let her go looking for someone to take home! Because believe me she comes home with me and she won't be coming back to you!"

Grissom still sat on the pavement, Sara's arms wrapped around him from the back. He was shaking.

From the door Catherine and Disco watched. He had sent Darius off with a bag of ice.

"What a man and a woman won't do for love, mmm mmm mmm. So gorgeous, you ever done kareokee before?" Disco asked Catherine.

"Well, if you're singing with me..."

Sara was mixed with emotion. She was mad for him attacking Darius but she was thrilled that she had finally made his passion erupt. Brass kneeled down beside them. The shaking had subsided.

"Gil you ok? Sara?"

"Yeah, I want you to take her home and wait there. Don't let her leave. I'll be there shortly." Grissom said angrily.

Sara's mind filled with fear. Where was Grissom going?

Finally he stood up and pulled Sara to the back of the car, out of earshot from Brass.

"You go with him, and you wait. Tonight will be the night Sara, no more running, no more games. We will be settling this."

She opened her mouth to speak but he quickly covered her lips firmly with his hand.

"No, you don't get the right to talk now. You always get the last word and I am through with it. Go home, drink some coffee and wait. If not I will suspend you for violating your counseling and walking off the job. Now go." He didn't raise his voice, but his tone was cold and poisoness.

Sara wasn't sure if she was mad, scared, sad, or excited. She had never seen him look so dangerous. For now she would humor him. She got in Brass's car and waited. As they left the parking lot, she looked into his eyes and saw what lie there; there was no warmth only anger. A chill went up her skin and went all the way to her heart.

"Gil? What are you doing? Where's Sara?" Catherine met him at the door of the club.

"I sent her home with Brass."

"What? Why?"

"I want the names and profiles of all the guys at that table. Especially a guy named Darius. I need to make sure they aren't going to bother her."

"Yo, Grissom, they're my boys. Baby girl's all good. They're just playin."

"I don't call a kiss like that, playing Disco. Nor do I consider what he said to be a joke." He got close to Disco and momentarily Catherine thought they would start throwing punches.

"Uh Disco can I talk to you? Gil stay here. One fight is enough."

When she had Disco alone, she talked quickly.

"You can't tell him who they were. If he knows Sara set him up, it will be bad for both of them. We need to get him out of here. Look give me ten minutes to call the lab. There are only two people he would trust to run profiles on these guys. Give him the names, make them up if you have to. He won't get the info till tomorrow anyway."

"Cool. Man all I wanted to do is get the two of them together. I didn't know it would create such a mess."

"Yeah well, they've been this way for five years. I need to run damage control. Get him the names but take him to your office to do it. I will get this taken care of in the Denali. Call me when he's on his way down. Tell him I went to call Lindsey."

When Disco came back, Grissom was taking notes from his bartender.

"Where's Catherine?"

"She went to call her daughter, but she told me to keep you cool. All right Grissom I'll give you their names but you gotta be promisin' that you won't arrest them or threaten them."

"I just want to make sure Sara is safe, you have my word."

Outside in the Denali, Catherine dialed Nick.

"Nick, hey Grissom might be calling you to run trace on some guys. I want you to agree to it but I don't want you to do it. Give him the wrong info if he calls back for it. Make sure you have a couple of tiny blemishes but nothing bad."

"Catherine are you ok?" Nick sounded worried.

"Trust me, this is about Grissom and Sara. Need I say more?"

"Nah I'm on it. Should I tell Warrick too?"

"Yeah could you? But don't tell him that I asked you to do it. I need to call Sara."

"Cool. I want to hear the details."

"God Nick, you and Greg are like females. Ok I'll call you later."

Her next call was to Sara. She answered on the first ring.

"Sara it's Catherine."

"Hey if you need me to come in, I'm afraid I can't."

"Not about that, it's about Disco's club."

"What? But how did you-?"

"I was there with Grissom. I need to know what he said when he took you outside."

Sara was a little hesitant but decided she might get the inside scoop into what Grissom said and did. She gave Catherine all the details all the way to the point where Brass ordered two cops at her door.

"Wow, he's not playing. He's trying to get Disco to give him the names of the guys at the table."

"What? Ah man Disco is going to kill me! I promised this was all in fun."

"Yeah well I never thought your little act would push him to madness either."

"What do you mean, my act?"

"After he talked to him, Disco didn't think Grissom would go to the club so called me. He explained the plans and made me vow to get Grissom there. I have to tell you Sara, it didn't take much persuasion."

"Geez what a mess. But I guess it doesn't take much persuading once you've slept with a guy." Her tone was bitterly sarcastic.

"Yeah well as dull as he can be, when you get that man worked up he's hard to control, like a balloon covered in grease. But I promise you this Sara; I wouldn't hurt you. Neither would he. There is more to this than what went on."

"What?"

"Long story but trust me there is more involved here then you know Sara. Anyway I called Nick and the guys are safe. But I'm not sure how things will play out."

"Great so is he-"

"Wait, Disco's on the other line."

"Yeah." Catherine said beeping over.

"Yo Chuck, I need the cases here tomorrow. We dumped a fortune tonight in bourbon." Disco tried to sound serious.

"Got it. Talk to you later."

Beeping over.

"Ok Sara, here he comes. Try not to let your temper mess it up. Bye."

"What? Wait Catherine."

"Lindsey you be a good girl and do what your auntie says. And quit calling Brady a sissy because his voice is changing. Love you too." Catherine said faking her call.

Catherine hung up the phone and looked at Grissom. His face still contorted in anger.

"How's Lindsey?"

She knew it took all he had to be civil to anyone.

"Doing well. She waited up late for me to call. Are you all right?"

"I don't care what she thinks she is doing or why, I am going to straighten it out tonight. I'm tired of her always getting the last word. This punk is not getting his claws into Sara. She has played her last hand."

"Grissom get real, you both play each oth-"

"Not tonight Catherine! I will take you home and then I'm going to Sara's."

He was amazingly calm but extremely menacing. When they pulled up to her house, Catherine looked at Grissom.

"Catherine look, thank you for being there tonight. See you later ok?"

With that he drove away.

Catherine smiled as she unlocked her front door.

"Mission accomplished."


	16. Ch16: A Step Too Far

Chapter 16- A Step Too Far

**Chapter 16- A Step Too Far**

Grissom pulled into the space at Sara's apartment. He was a little heated but he had calmed down tremendously. He relieved the two officers that Brass had left at the door. Well this is it Gil Grissom, the crossroads; and with that thought he loudly knocked on the door.

Catherine felt so good about Sara and Grissom that she decided to be bold for herself. She went to her room and changed clothes, black jeans and a dark crimson sleeveless shirt. She opted to take down her hair and add some makeup. Making a last minute check to be sure she had left lights on, she headed to her car.

Warrick was lying on the couch in his flat. He had spent the last 2 hours lifting weights on the modest porch outside. All he wanted to do was drive the image of Catherine out of his mind. When the weights didn't help he turned to the hard red punching bag. He always paced himself at the bag, but all he could see was Grissom's face and he couldn't quit slamming his fists into it. After all of that, he had taken a shower, threw on a pair of black sweat pants, and hit the couch. He had recorded the Knicks game so he decided to watch it.

Shortly before midnight his doorbell rang, Warrick had just dozed off. He glanced a little bleary eyed at the score. The Lakers were down but 10. He clicked off the VCR and walked to the door. Looking out the peephole he saw it was Catherine. He quickly opened the door.

"Something wrong? Lindsey ok?"

Catherine was happy to hear the concern in his voice.

"She's fine, I'm fine. Warrick, can I talk to you? I know it's late but I need to get this off my chest."

He looked a little hesitant but realized he needed to hear this from her. He needed to hear why.

"Think your actions spoke for themselves. How could you Cath? I mean I thought we were getting close. And Sara? What has she ever done to you? You know she loves Grissom. Were you just trying to prove you still had it or what? Damn!"

"Warrick maybe I deserve some of this, but what happened with me and Grissom isn't what everyone thinks or for the reasons they think it. I love Grissom, he's been there for me when I needed someone. He's treated Lindsey better than her own father ever did. We share a lot, but there is something else that came into play that night. And Warrick if I don't tell you, then you and I can't go on. So can I talk to you?"

"Fine, come in. But don't expect miracles."

Sara didn't answer the door but Grissom was not giving up. After knocking harder the second time, he decided to try the knob. It turned and he walked inside.

"Sara?"

"I see there's no limit to how much of my private life you like to invade."

"Hello to you too Sara."

"Mind telling me what that charade was at the club? You pick me up and haul me out like a bad act. You give Darius a beating, then order me home and imprisoned. What gives?"

"Why don't you tell me when the Sara Sidle I know would ever let any man touch or kiss her that way?"

"The Sara Sidle you know? Grissom you don't know anything about me. Well here's a news flash for you, I'm not a celibate monk like you are! I have sex, I drink, I dance, I go out. I'm not this dull geek that sits home and lives in my work."

"Come on Sara, you work as much as I do sometimes more. You don't do anything but stay at home."

"Yeah and when I do go out you follow me?"

"I caught you there by mistake. Disco is my friend you know."

"Why won't you just admit that I do nothing for you? That maybe I'm only a nice calendar girl for you. Maybe I'm not as gifted with my hands as Teri or as domineering as Lady Heather, Grissom, but I have feelings and a body that I know how to use!"

He looked like he was just slapped in the face. How did she even know about his time together with Lady Heather? And Teri hadn't even reached first base with him because of his job.

"I think it's best if I leave town for a few days. When I come back, I promise that you and this or any other incident between us will never surface again. Now please leave I need to pack."

"All right Sara I'll go. But in your heart you know that it can't end this way...I love you Sara. It might have taken me this long to say it, but it only took from the first moment I met you to feel it. And as he walked to the door he said:

_Ah, when to the heart of a man__  
__Was it ever less than a treason,__  
__To go with the drift of things,__  
__To yield with a grace to reason,__  
__And bow and accept the end__  
__Of a love or a season._

And softly he closed the door behind him.

Sara's heart broke and she knew that he was not standing on the other side of the door. She knew this time there would be no plants, no admission that he was wrong. Despite the fact that he had slept with Catherine, and the entire lab knew, the words "I love you Sara" had cost him so much more. She sat on the floor and cried and then without a second thought, she grabbed her bags and left her apartment behind. Leaving behind her stuff, her memories of him there, and her career, Sara Sidle would never return to CSI and the man she so desperately loved.

"Why couldn't you just tell me it was like that?"

Warrick sat back, the look of confusion growing on his face. He knew why she had done it and all the details of the story.

"You never gave me the chance." Catherine felt her nerves beginning to settle.

Warrick looked down into the glass of his coffee table. His green eyes reflected there.

"Hey, Cath I'm sorry that I said what I did. Sleeping with Grissom could never make you undesirable to me. You're incredibly beautiful and I was a jerk."

Catherine moved to the couch next to him, matching his position. Her hand slowly slid through his. They were big strong hands, hands that wouldn't hurt her as Eddie had. She looked at him till he finally met her eyes. Without further hesitation he brought her face closer and kissed her so tenderly. She was amazed that he could be so tender. He leaned back into the couch and pulled her into his arms.


	17. Ch17: A Place of Solitude

Chapter 17- A Place of Solitude

Chapter 17- A Place of Solitude

Sara drove for an hour. Grissom's words echoed in her ears.

_"I love you Sara."_

She was really scared now. He had finally said the words she needed to hear. Then he had left, a permanent goodbye in his voice. Sara needed some peace so she turned on the radio. The music floated in.

_"I love you, please say you love me too_

_ These three words they can change our lives forever._

_ And I promise you that we will always be together, till the end of time."_

She switched songs three times, and then her CD player jammed. It was the oddest thing, she couldn't turn it off, or change it. But she knew she was in trouble when the lyrics poured out.

(spoken)  
Girl you know we belong together  
I have no time for you to be playing  
With my heart like this  
You'll be mine forever baby, you just see

(verse)  
We belong together  
And you that I'm right  
Why do you play with my heart,  
Why do you play with my mind?

Said we'd be forever  
Said it'd never die  
How could you love me and leave me  
And never say good-bye?

When I can't sleep at night without holding you tight  
Girl, each time I try I just break down and cry  
Pain in my head oh I'd rather be dead  
Spinnin' around and around

Before she could stop herself, she was singing with the music. She sang low at first but as the lyrics kept on, she began screaming them.

Chorus:  
Although we've come to the End Of The Road  
Still I can't let you go  
It's unnatural, you belong to me, I belong to you  
Come to the End of the Road  
Still I can't let you go  
It's unnatural, you belong to me, I belong to you

Girl, I know you really love me,  
You just don't realize  
You've never been there before  
It's only your first time

Maybe I'll forgive you, hmm  
Maybe you'll try  
We should be happy together  
Forever, you and I

Girl, you love me again like you loved me before  
This time I want you to love me much more  
This time instead just come to my bed  
And baby just don't let me, don't let me down

She cried harder than she ever had. It finally came to her. She remembered the night of her birthday. Every detail about his tenderness, his declarations of affection, the way he had held her during the night. She now knew why he had been short with her online the following day. Sara had really hurt him. Loving anyone should never hurt that bad. She needed Grissom, needed him to tell her it was ok. What would she do now? Sara couldn't imagine her life without him.

(spoken)  
Girl, I'm here for you  
All those times of night when you just hurt me  
And just ran out with that other fella  
Baby I knew about it, I just didn't care  
You just don't understand how much I love you do you?  
I'm here for YOU

I'm not out to go out and cheat on you all night  
Just like you did baby but that's all right  
Hey, I love you anyway  
And I'm still gonna be here for you 'till my dying day baby  
Right now, I'm just in so much pain baby  
Cuz you just won't come back to me  
Will you? Just come back to me

(Lonely)  
Yes baby my heart is lonely  
(Lonely)  
My heart hurts baby  
(Lonely)  
Yes I feel pain too  
Baby please

This time instead just come to my bed  
And baby just don't let me go

As the lyrics finished up, Sara pulled into the driveway of the house. It was a two-story house, more than 150 years old, with the greenest lawn. She loved this house, it was completely enclosed with enormous hedges. Wiping her face, she got out to open the gate and drove her car inside.

No one knew this house existed. Sara had been on one of her infamous roadtrips one day and had come across the house on Misquamicut Avenue. The owner was a lady who had recently passed and her daughter just wanted to sell it. Sara had met the daughter named Virginia and she thought Sara would be perfect for it. Virginia and her mother were very close and she couldn't hold on to it without her mom being there. But she also didn't want to just sell it to just anyone.

After Sara had walked the house and talked to Virginia for what seemed like hours, the house was hers. What she loved best was that the house sat on a beautiful stream and wasn't far from a lake. The neighborhood was quiet, each house a good distance from the next. The back was open but surrounded but a 3 foot stone wall that led to the stream. There was a large gazebo in the back that set in the middle of an enormous flower garden. She loved being back there. She had owned the house for four years and came once or twice a month.

Sara grabbed her bag from the trunk and walked to the porch. There were two steps and then a semi-enclosed porch. To the right was an old white rocking chair. Virginia's mom had sat in it often. Sara couldn't imagine getting rid of it, so she had it refinished and placed back in its spot. In addition, she had added a porch swing, and two large pots with flowers. But her favorite sight was sitting in the left most corner. In a Roman designed flower pot was the plant she fondly named "Shakespeare" it was the plant Grissom had sent her when she wanted to leave last time. The thought once again filled her with sadness.

She reached for the key in her pocket and opened the door. It was 2am by her watch and she wanted to sleep. Sara turned the light on in the hall that led upstairs to her room. She was so tired that she raced upstairs, threw on a pair of shorts and a t-shirt and fell asleep instantly.


	18. Ch18: All Roads Lead to the Middle

Chapter 18- All Roads Lead to the Middle

Chapter 18- All Roads Lead to the Middle

Sara awoke the next morning feeling refreshed but still sad. She decided a bubble bath sounded good and headed for it. The bathroom was all done in marble, with the biggest sunken bathtub she had ever seen. After she had sat for an hour, she wrapped herself in a robe and walked to her room. This was one of her favorite rituals.

In the middle of the bed, she found a single white carnation. Sara, a little alarmed looked around. She had no idea where it had come from, but she thought it was pretty enough for a vase. Still staring at it she headed down the stairs. On the last step was a pink carnation, again puzzled she picked it up and joined it with the white one. Her senses now detecting fresh brewed coffee.

When she entered the kitchen, to her surprise was Grissom. A red carnation in his hands. She simply stared at him, not wanting to reveal the happiness she felt.

"The carnations are a symbol Sara Sidle, of what I felt and how I feel now."

He stood up and walked to her, slowly taking the carnations from her hand.

"We started out as friends, a pure connection, never to be broken."

He set the white carnation in the vase.

"Over time the feeling became admiration, companionship, a need for something more and then there was affection."

The pink carnation was placed in the vase.

"Affection has turned to love, the color of which my heart beats. The blood I would die to protect you with. The fire of emotion I feel when you are gone and when you are near. A love that will only grow given the proper care, from the beauty of all three."

It took her a few moments to get her voice back. Sara slowly pinched her wrist to see if she was dreaming. After a tiny wince she realized she wasn't. Her mind swirled with a thousand questions as she looked from him to the carnations. Simple. She needed simple. Needed to get her feet back on solid ground.

"How did you find me here?" Her voice wasn't as strong as she had hoped.

"I'll have to thank Catherine for that one. She overheard you talking to a guy about landscaping a few years back. She kept that information to herself till just recently."

At the mention of Catherine's name, Sara could feel the heat of jealousy creep up her arm, all the way up her spine. She was so tired of hearing about Catherine. Even though Sara liked her, the thought of the two of them still burned.

"Yeah I'm sure Catherine gave it to you. I don't know why you came here Grissom but it's a waste of time."

With that she put on her sandals by the door and walked out on the back deck. She quickly walked all the way down to the stream, and knelt to pick up a stone. With one swift and unsuspecting move, Grissom wrapped his arms around Sara's slender waist and sent her to the ground. Before she could fight back he had straddled her waist and pinned her arms tightly by her head.

"Grissom! Get the hell off of me!!"

She tried to hide her amusement and shock from him, but as she looked into his eyes, it turned to something else.

"No, Sara not this time. For five years I have put up with you always getting the last word. You say things, and then float away before I can answer. You make assumptions based on my silence but never give me a chance to say anything. You have spent your entire life running but you never look back to see me behind you. If you listened half as well as Catherine does, you would know that I don't _have_ feelings for her!"

The last part was said with a bit of sad regret.

"Grissom, let me up. Damnit! Let me up."

Grissom complied because he thought he might be hurting her. Once he had moved she sat away from him looking into the stream, trying to make the anger subside.

"Sara, talk to me."

She began slowly afraid her voice would sound weak.

"I remember now Grissom. I-I didn't before, I think I was scared."

"Scared of what? What do you remember?"

_"Sara, how could you think I would ever hate you? I love your smile and the way you are so passionate about everything. I love the silly gap in your teeth and the little curls in your hair. I even love when you challenge what I say. Why can't you see things? Why can't you see the way I feel about you? I don't know how to say it. But I swear, I feel you more than you know."_

Grissom looked taken aback. His mouth hung open in complete surprise.

"But you didn't remember. I asked you and you said everything was a blank."

She turned then to look at him.

"It was, Grissom, until I drove here. I remember everything now."

His smile reflected the utter joy he felt, but only on a small scale. Without any hesitation this time, he toppled her back on the grass. His lips pressed firmly to hers. Her mouth opened to his, his tongue exploring this new wonder. Her hands came up around his neck, her fingers running through his curls. A soft moan left her throat as the tenderness became passion. Slowly he pulled away leaving a gentle trail of kisses down her neck. Sara shivered with the feel of him.

"There are a few things I have to tell you. Come here."


	19. Ch19: The Truth Be Told

Ch 19- The Truth Be Told

Ch 19- The Truth Be Told

He rose from the cool grass and pulled her up against him. Slowly they walked to the gazebo hand in hand. He had made breakfast while she slept. Luckily it was Sara's favorite, raisin bran and a poppy seed bagel with strawberry cream cheese. His favorite consisted of Captain Crunch with milk and orange juice. Smiling she sat down her stomach growling with anticipation. She couldn't remember the last time she had eaten.

"Ok Sara you want to play a little game with me?"

"Aren't we a little old for games? Especially when you do things like sleep with Catherine? How does one get around something like that exactly?"

"If you follow my lead, and do it right, all questions will be answered." Grissom said with a blush creeping up his neck.

"I'll humor you for now, but you're on a short rope with me. What is your game?"

"It's called Let the Truth Be Told. This is how you play. First I ask a question of you, the first ten have to be only a yes or no answer. We rotate asking questions. After that we can ask detailed questions about the answers only after all questions are answered yes or no. The reason we aren't detailed to start with is we need to get all the assumptions and miscommunications out of the way."

"Rules?" Sara asked getting a bit more interested.

"Yes, you cannot interrupt. And you must answer and answer truthfully. Sound easy enough?"

"You were in debate in college I can tell. Ok you start then, Grissom."

Grissom: All right, did you truly enjoy yourself last night at the club?"

Sara: "Yes.

Do you still feel Nick earned your recommendation for the key position?"

Grissom: "Yes.

Did you sleep with Hank?

Sara: (Blushing) Yes.

Did you enjoy sleeping with Catherine?

Grissom: Yes.

Have you seen that guy you were kissing before last night?

Sara: Yes.

Have you fantasized about me sexually before?

Grissom: (A little gruff) Yes.

Have you had fantasies about me?

Sara: Yes.

Did you regret anything you said to me the night of my birthday?

Grissom: Yes.

_Sara felt her heart sink._

Grissom: Are you still drinking?

Sara: No.

Is Lindsey your child?

Grissom: Yes

Sara: She is? Oh my God!

_Putting his hand over her mouth, he whispered to her._

"Shh Sara, patience. Now it's my turn."

Grissom: Were you going to go back to San Francisco, when you came back next week?

Sara: (Sadly) No.

Would you have let me go back?

Grissom: (firmly) No.

Did you know I was there last night before I came downstairs?

Sara: (Embarrassed) Yes.

Did Disco tell you I would be there?

Grissom: Yes

Is being with me what you want?

_This question scared him to his core. Because if there was any doubt in any of that, he couldn't be with her._

Sara: (looking deeply in his eyes) No.

B_itter waves of hurt set in._

Sara: Are you afraid of me?

Grissom: (He knew) Yes.

Will you ever eat meat again and come back to the darkside of carnivorism?

Sara: (giggling) No.

Will you ever stop eating chocolate covered grasshoppers?

Grissom: No.

They sat in silence for a minute. Then Grissom scooted closer.

"All right Sara. Your turn to elaborate. Shall we begin?"

Sara altered her position in her chair. Thinking carefully over her answers, not wanting to hurt him or scare him away again.

Sara: I did enjoy myself last night. Those guys are great. And I have always loved to sing. So yes I really did enjoy myself. Go ahead.

Grissom: Nick earned every bit of that promotion but arguably so did you. Honestly my decision could only be decided by tenure. So he won out by a technicalility."

Sara: Oh good. I thought it was because you couldn't lose me at night. And that it was due to our history.

Grissom: Hmm nope. I promised myself that I would never let my feelings hold you to me if the promotion time came."

Sara: All right. Yes I did sleep with Hank, but there wasn't a single moment my mind was with him. I wanted you. He knew that after the first time and we never did it again."

Grissom: Flattering and please tell me that you didn't scream my name? (Blushing)

Sara: Well had we gotten to that point, I might have, but I stopped him.

Grissom: Wow, I still have no idea how to answer that. Ok this is a big question. Did I enjoy sleeping with Catherine? The answer is still yes, but the facts as you have them are sketchy. I slept in her bed, but there was no sexual contact. We had every intention of it, but we both knew we were wanting other people. We spent the entire night talking about you and Warrick."

Sara: Warrick?

Grissom: Yeah, she has a fire lit for him. We were pathetic really. Reminded me of slumber parties with my cousin. We would stay up all night talking about scooters. But my heart wasn't in it, I couldn't do that to you. And Catherine agreed too. She really cares about you Sara.

Sara: Well that is a huge relief. And I'm sure Warrick will find it that way too. He was pretty angry about the situation. I guess Catherine isn't the only one holding the torch there. But why did you even consider it with her?

Grissom: Look Sara, our positions at work aren't my only fear. I'm terrified that I won't be able to keep up with you. I'm afraid that I am long out of practice. I have slept in the bed of many women but I have had sex with few, and made love to none. Catherine is a good friend and for a fleeting moment I thought she could help me. But when I stepped foot in her room, her perfume wasn't yours, her touch, her smile, it wasn't you.

Sara: Grissom? What the hell do you think I do in the bedroom? Hang from the ceiling in leopard skin panties, with a leather bra and riding crop? Geez I am a simple girl who likes simple pleasures. Just to be close to you is more than I have ever had. I want you and all the inexperience you have. We can teach each other.

Grissom: All right Sara, I guess I'm just an idiot, but go on we have more questions to answer.

Sara: Ok the guy I was kissing last night is a friend. We've known each other for three years. He's a great kisser.

She paused for a moment as she saw the wounded look on his face. Feeling a deep satisfaction she added," and his boyfriend lent him to me for the evening."

Grissom: You mean I have all these bruises for no reason? That makes me wonder about the rest of the night!

Sara: As I recall Grissom, you threw the first punch. I'll be lucky if Darius speaks to me again. You are lucky that his man Jackson doesn't come after you. He is awfully protective.

Grissom: Yeah I'll watch my back. I guess I should apologize. Now where were we? Ok yes I have fantasized about you in the throws of passion before. I may be a scientist but my imagination is that of a great artist."

Sara: Oh wow, dare I ask about them?

_His face grew hot with a flush._

Grissom: Well maybe later but I do believe the question ball is in your court Ms. Sidle.

Sara: **Do I have to answer this? I mean, yikes.**

_The look she received told her she could not avoid the question._

Grissom: Sometimes Sara, _not_ answering the question is more damaging than anything you could say. My take is yes you have.

**Sara: All right, yes I have thought about you that way and my imagination is also very strong. I love your hands.**

Grissom: (Blushing) I do regret one thing about your birthday. Something I said. I regret saying I would sleep on the bed with you. I don't regret that now, but lying next to you and not losing my self- control is not something a man should have to do.

Sara laughed.

Sara: It won't happen again, I am counting on you losing your self- control. I do not drink anymore. I was drinking the night of my birthday because my mother called. She's on a lot of drugs when she is sick and she was very irrational. Ruby says that she has bad days sometimes but it was more than I could handle."

Grissom: Sara, your mother had a rough time, you said so yourself, but the bottle won't take those memories away. Promise me you won't seek that therapy again.

Sara: Agreed ok.

Grissom: Lindsey is my child but not genetically, she is my God child, though no one knows but you and Catherine now. Eddie had his brother listed but Catherine wouldn't have it, so when she was baptized, Catherine had it changed. Eddie never knew.

Sara: That's so beautiful Griss, just to think of you as any kind of father is awesome.

Grissom: I love kids, especially Lindsey.

Sara: She's a terror now so Catherine tells me but still adorable. Anyway let's see, oh yeah, Frisco. San Francisco is a long way away, and I can't run there because I'm hurt. I can't live there anymore; my home is here. And no town would be complete without you.

_He picked up her hand and kissed her palm. Her flesh showed evidence of chills._

Grissom: I would have gone after you Sara. Even if I faced kidnapping, I would have hauled you back.

_Rising from her chair, she kissed his cheek. This was done as an attempt at a thank you. What she got was a whole lot of Grissom's eager mouth on her neck. The sensation was incredible._

Sara: Well fair is fair I guess..time for the real true confessions. I knew you were at the club because you were setup to be there. I was angry with you over the couch incident in your office, then again after your sexual encounter with Catherine or so I thought. I asked Disco to get the guys there so I could show you that I could get men and didn't need you.

Grissom: Disco told me you would be there but I must say your plan had brilliance. The only time in my life I was pushed to commit murder, Sara. And I would have had to take myself off the crime scene processing. He added with a smirk.

_They both laughed at that. Both knew what extremes the other had gone to for each other. The silence grew again when the big question arose._

Sara: Grissom, you aren't the man I want to be with. You are more than that but sometimes so closed off to everyone. If I said I cared for you that would be a lie because I love you. All the decisions are yours now.

Grissom: Sara, I am afraid of you. I'm afraid that I'm not right for you. That I will miss things that make you happy. Afraid that I can't keep up, and worst of all afraid to feel happy with this.

Sara: You don't have to be afraid. Had I wanted something more I wouldn't have stayed here.

Grissom: It's a hard road for me but I will try.

Sara: Ok, more than I expected from you. But I will never go back to eating meat. I am perfectly content with pasta, vegetables, and fish, but I promise not to freak out when you eat steak.

Grissom: Well to that effect, I will try to keep my appetite for grasshoppers to only my office and bug tasting conventions."

Sara: Eww they really have those?

Grissom: My sweet Sara, all the best entomologists eat bugs. Try a strawberry smoothie with cricket legs. It's quite tasty."

Sara: Ugh. I pass.

Laughing he pulled her to him and dropped his mouth on hers for a fearsome kiss. Her body grew hotter with every stroke of his tongue.

"Sara, come with me, I need to show you something."


	20. Ch20: The Color of Tears

Chapter 20

**Chapter 20. The Color of Tears **

** He took her by the hand and led her to the stream. He helped her walk the rocks to get across and then led her into the forest. Sara had lived there for nearly five years and had only been through the forest once. There was an old mill on the other side that was rumored to be haunted. They walked in silence for a long time.**

** Sara watched him every now and again to make sure she was awake. Around thirty minutes into their walk they came to a gate. Grissom gently opened the old gate and pulled Sara through.**

** "Grissom this is private property. Mossrig Mill has been closed for years. And I think it's haunted."**

** He smiled at her with an evil grin, "Let's go spook some ghosts then."**

** A few minutes later they came upon the old silo. Grissom opened the door and led her inside. What fell upon her eyes was nothing short of breathtaking. Painted all over the walls were butterflies, some six feet to ten feet long, some just a few inches. Each painted in bright colors and contained such intricate detail.**

** "Grissom what is this place? Who painted all these butterflies?"**

** She asked him still staring in awe. When she turned to look at him, his smile said everything to her.**

** "It's you isn't it. You did this. I recognize that one above your head from your office."**

** "I have been working on this for six years. Everytime I have hurt you and everytime you have cried a tear, I have painted a butterfly for you."**

** "But Grissom there are like two hundred on the walls."**

** "187."**

** "Surely you have not done that much."**

** "Oh but Sara, I have. The large ones are the worst ones. The time you asked me to dinner, when Kaye was murdered, when we found that lady raped on the side of the road, when you told me about your mom and dad. All these are the result of that."**

** "Grissom you were the one who helped me lock up Scott after he killed Kaye, and you were not the result of my parents, you listened."**

** "When you hurt I hurt, it's only that simple. I can't undo anything that I have done to you Sara, I can only love you from where I am."**

** "And the silo how did you get in here?"**

"I have long enjoyed the outdoors and it's creatures of the night. I keep my full camping gear in the Tahoe. Been camping here for the last ten years; all throughout these woods."

"Ten years? Grissom, you haven't even know me that long."

"Let me give you a brief history Sara."

He took her hand and led her to a long hollow log where he used a blanket to cover the rough edges of bark. She sat down and after assuring she was comfortable, took his place next to her.

"My father was in the import/export business. When he started he would transport lumber to some of the islands in and around Hawaii and other places. Dad, unfortunately got mixed up in jewels and eventually illegal drug trafficking. Luckily for me, he had the sense to put the mill in my name. When the government tracked him down, they took all of his assets. I was thirty-three when I found out the mill was mine. The government couldn't touch the mill because I was listed as the owner. It fell under litigation for a while but the judge declared that the mill was purchased long before any crimes were committed. "

"The mill? You mean Mossrig Mill is yours?"

Nodding, he continued, her hand still in his.

"I didn't come up here till ten years ago to see the place. I had every intention of selling it. But the mill is a great place to escape to, and as you can see the forest is one of God's finest."

"Wait wait wait, you mean to tell me that I bought a house adjacent to your property, and I never knew?"

"Sara, Mossrig is an anagram. The evidence you needed was here the entire time."

"Mossrig turned around spells Grissom. Her eyes shown in disbelief. Can this really be coincidence?"

Sara was quite displaced but the thought of this being destiny had her brain swimming.

"When we get away from work, murder, age differences, other people, and misconceptions, our roads have always led to each other. I'm a damned fool for not seeing that sooner. When Catherine gave me the address, something inside changed. I know where I belong. We've spent so much time living with a forest between us, we never looked to see each other on the opposite side."

"And what was last night about, when you left? When you spouted Robert Frost at me and then walked away. Why didn't you just tell me everything then? You knocked me to the ground to tell me today."

Sara felt a flush of anger but it was different this time. This anger wasn't to push Grissom away; it was to force him to confront all he had hidden.

"Because you needed time to see what you were giving up. As I said in the garage at work, I am here when you are ready. But until Friday night I didn't know how close we were. Catherine was worried that what you thought you knew about her and I would destroy what we were building. She gave me the address hoping I would meet you here."

"What I was giving up? And so now I am the one keeping us apart? Grissom you have this all backwards. You could have told me and met me here, but you came to my apartment instead. And you had me held there like some criminal."

"I had to give you the choice to walk away, but you wouldn't take it. You stood in that cold lonely apartment and said you would be coming back, but as someone colder. I would rather lose you to California, then have you here in Vegas hiding your feelings, Sara."

"So why did you come here then?" Sara felt the bitterness fading.

"I wanted someplace neutral, somewhere that we could retreat to our respective corners if we needed to. I just wanted to talk to you. To show you that you will never be just a co-worker to me. But when I got to this house, something was different."

Sara sat staring into the woods, her mind running far and wide.

"Sara, talk to me. If there was ever a time I needed you to talk to me, it's right now. There is no way you are going to let me off this easy."

"I'm sorry Grissom, it's just that I have waited so long for any kind of truce between us. I have played every scenario in my mind, and nothing comes close to this. I'm almost afraid to accept it."

"You don't trust me."

"How can I? You have spent nearly six years keeping me at arms length. You rejected dinner with me, you shot me down when I came to you for advice, you take everyone's word over mine, tell me to get a life and then get mad when I don't rush to your pages. It's a lot for me to accept. Then I come here to see all of this. I'm sorry Grissom I am just overwhelmed. Even though the truth is all out there, what is stopping you from dropping me once we get back to work?"

Grissom shifted, straddling the log and facing her. He hated to look at her, he didn't want to see goodbye in her eyes. His insides twisted at her lack of trust, but being wise he knew that it was what he deserved.

"Everything is true, how can I deny it? You have no reason to trust me." He felt so defeated.

"Give me some time then. Time to warm to this idea, without you changing your mind."

"If that's what you want. Go back to the house, take the week off. I have to go back to work tomorrow."

Sara suddenly jumped up, panic in her eyes.

"Hold on Sara. I'm giving you time. At the end of two weeks on July 4th, this is where I'll be. If you can trust me by then, I'll see you here."

Sara stepped back her heart beating wildly. She almost hated him for being this much of a gentleman. But that cold mask had once again taken him over. She looked deeply into his blue eyes. Searching for a trace of a lie, but she knew Grissom didn't lie. Moving swiftly she pulled him to her, a kiss so passionate and intense that he was forced to put his back up against the mighty tree. Ending the kiss she hugged him tightly. Her fingers wrapping in the curls near his neck. His response was the cold locked up Grissom, and Sara felt her tears burn.

"Goodbye Sara."

With that he released her and walked away to the building that had sheltered him all these years. He was sure she wouldn't come back, because she couldn't trust him not to hurt her. Sometimes love just wasn't enough. He looked up to the silo and knew his biggest project was to come.

The End.

So now that we have left the ball in Sara's court, where will our favorite couple end up? Book II _Learning Curves: The Devil and Sara Sidle _is finished and I will start sending chapters soon. Again as I said the two of them have issues to resolve, more Grissom than Sara. Some Sara backstory comes to play in the GSR. So to keep you wondering here is a little summary of Book II

_Grissom and Sara go their separate ways to figure out what has become of their relationship. When Grissom finds that Sara has left town what will he think? Sara will go back to her roots and back to personal issues that lead her to some dangerous results. Grissom learns that he needs people more than he realizes, and makes a surprising bond with a member of the team (not Catherine or Sofia). Grissom races time to save his relationship with Sara, but how late is too late? And July 4th is going to have explosive results... Chapter 1 coming soon..._


End file.
